the self-love archives
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the self-love archives
how energy beliefs (truth or placebo) + healthy environments shape self-love with willow & jade salon owner, nikki grebel
i cannot wait for you to be part of this conversation with willow & jade salon owner + hairstylist, nikki grebel. nikki’s story is beyond inspiring—she’s gone against the odds to open her own hair salon while learning to love herself along the way. her journey is a beautiful reminder that success and self-love can grow side by side.
in this episode, we dive into how the energy you believe in (whether truth or placebo) can shift your perspective, how creating healthy environments—especially at work—supports your self-love journey, and how nikki fosters that atmosphere for her clients and team. you’ll leave this conversation feeling inspired to trust yourself more, surround yourself with goodness, and believe in the unseen things that push you toward loving yourself more.
you can find nikki here on instagram + the amazing willow & jade hair salon here
connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia
unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives
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So you went to go see an energy healer. I sure did. And she told you what? Okay. So the most jarring thing she told me was that I have, well, had, she has cleared it since, but I had a djinn or what she described as an evil little elf in my uterus. So you had an evil little elf in your youth? That was, that had this like, dark cloud around it. And was inherited from my mother, apparently.
Julia Salvia:Okay.
nikki grebel:So, she then went on to clear The evil elf. Said elf. Yes, exactly. The said elf. Um, she waved a magnet around my body. I was like, what the fuck is this lady doing and why am I paying for this? And she's like swinging this pendulum around in my face and I'm like, oh my God, what did I sign up for? Like, I do weird stuff all the time, but like this is like topping the list. I was gonna
Julia Salvia:be like, that's next level. Like, first you're telling me there's an elf in my uterus. You're telling me it's. Called a gin. Yeah, and then you're waving a magnet around me.
nikki grebel:Yeah, you're just like waving this magnet around me And then though I felt a chill. No, you didn't. Yeah I felt this like chill from like I would say my hips to my head and like this like whoosh feeling Wow,
Julia Salvia:okay, and
nikki grebel:as it happened she was trembling She was like and if the whoosh and the chill didn't happen. I'd be like Again, what did I fucking sign up for?
Julia Salvia:Yeah, you'd be like, what did you bestow on me? Yeah, I
nikki grebel:don't, I have questions. Like, what did I get myself into now? But, like, feeling that and then her, like, trembling and she said, did you feel that? I was like, actually, yes. She's like, well, it's gone. It's cleared. Where did it go? I don't know. That's my, that's my question. Out of my head? Okay, where did it go? Like, out of my head somehow? I don't
Julia Salvia:know. Personally, I believe in all of this. This energy healing stuff and like, intuitive ability and whatnot. But I agree with you. If I didn't feel, if I was in your place and I didn't feel that chill,
nikki grebel:I
Julia Salvia:would first confirm like, am I, am I cold? Yeah. Or am I actually feeling what I'm feeling? Yeah. I think that there's just that, um, what's the word for it? Just questioning everything. Yeah. Going into this stuff, but I feel like doing that makes me trust it more if something does happen.
nikki grebel:Oh, yeah. It's like being open
Julia Salvia:to it, but still questioning everything.
nikki grebel:Yeah, I mean, I still, listen, like I said, I do weird woo woo shit all the time.
Julia Salvia:Mm hmm.
nikki grebel:And I was in there and I was like, I'm gonna give this my all and then she's waving this magnet around telling me there's an L for my uterus and I'm like, I gotta, I gotta go. Like, I don't,
Julia Salvia:I don't, I don't know. But no,
nikki grebel:it was great. Have you ever done
Julia Salvia:anything like that? No. I have not personally. I mean, I can read, like, psychically, like, for other people, which is really cool, um, and people have read for me, but nothing, I don't think that there's anything attached to me. But sometimes I question if something's, like, following me. Okay. Oh, that's like, that's
nikki grebel:like a whole thing. I mean, you mean like an energy following you?
Julia Salvia:Yes, but I'm pretty positive that it's like my, um, like my grandma.
nikki grebel:Yeah.
Julia Salvia:Like I don't think that it's an energy that I don't know.
nikki grebel:Yeah, like nothing dark or like mysterious. Yeah, but did you feel
Julia Salvia:like there was something before this? Cause what, what brought you to going to an energy killer? Cause that's I guess the, that's the real question.
nikki grebel:Um, cause something must have been up. Well, I was just having a string of bad luck.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:I was kneeling down one day, tore my meniscus, had to get surgery. Um, I had been doing physical therapy for months, graduated physical therapy, and the next day got into a bad car accident, like, got messed up. Literally
Julia Salvia:the next day. The
nikki grebel:next day. And my acupuncturist was like, This, whatever's happening to you, does not belong to you. Like, please go get seen.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:And I went to see this energy healer, she was in my acupuncturist's office, and she cleared the evil elf and apparently seven other energies that were attached to me. Yeah. So the
Julia Salvia:evil elf, elf plus it's posse is seven. Yeah, like Kate
nikki grebel:plus eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nikki, Nikki plus eight. Exactly. Me and my eight dark energies. You and your dark energies. And the head elf.
Julia Salvia:I just picture them all as like little elves.
nikki grebel:I know, like cute ones. And the head elf
Julia Salvia:in the uterus.
nikki grebel:Yes! Yeah, so she cleared those energies, but she said also like, you know, she's like, you're a hairdresser, you work with people, like that's a normal thing. And I do feel like that happens when you're working on people so closely and having intimate conversations with them. Oh, I'm
Julia Salvia:sure. Oh yeah. And we talk about. Everything under the sun.
nikki grebel:Literally. And I don't
Julia Salvia:know how, because we're half doing it over a blow dryer. I know! We're like, let me So what's your PTSD?
nikki grebel:Yeah, exactly.
Julia Salvia:What happened when you were seven? Exactly. It's, I think, the way that women bond. Oh yeah. It has to be. And I'm sure that, do you believe that it happens a lot like that? Yeah. In like, This space we're sitting in your salon right now. Oh, yeah Welcome back to the self love archives of podcast. I'm your host Julia Salvia also known as your self love Bestie. Hi besties. Welcome back or welcome if you are a new listener here I'm so excited for you to hear this episode I'm chatting with not only one of my good friends, but also The talent the artistry behind this gorgeous hair of mine And that is Nikki Grebel the owner of Willow and Jade hair salon in Belmar, New Jersey I know you've already heard a little bit about our conversation about energies and What does that have to do with self love? Well, you are going to find out in the rest of the episode. So keep on listening and I hope you enjoy
nikki grebel:Yeah, this place, especially, I think just opens people up. They feel comfortable, first of all, but I don't know, I think there's something energetically about this space that makes people feel like safe and like able to be seen and heard. And I tell my girls all the time, the ones, the young ones. The young stylists who are afraid to talk to people. I'm like, talk to them because you have no idea how cool your clients probably are.
Julia Salvia:Oh yeah.
nikki grebel:Like, imagine I never talked to you, that'd be crazy.
Julia Salvia:I know, how sad it would be if I didn't get to know you. We wouldn't be sitting here! That's what I'm saying! Hahaha! But, so, your name is Nikki.
nikki grebel:Sure is. And you own? Willow and Jade, right here. In Belmar, New Jersey. We're a hair salon, first and foremost. But we do bridal makeup and styling and stuff like that. Um, we have Stylists that specialize in pretty much any hair type here.
Julia Salvia:I mean, I've seen some of the crazy work that you guys can do here is it's insane. It's like I feel like I'm just like on that level of very basic And I and like but the fact that that can be done so well and then to see some of the crazy like artistic work On someone's head that people can do here. Oh, yeah, I look at it the um, the one that was like neopolis and ice cream Oh, yeah, that was sick or the calico cat.
nikki grebel:Yep. Yeah. Jules does some crazy color work It's artistry. Honestly,
Julia Salvia:really it's insane.
nikki grebel:Yeah,
Julia Salvia:and i've never seen anything like it.
nikki grebel:Oh, yeah, it's beautiful It's awesome because we selected We hired everyone for culture, so we wanted everyone to give that feel of we care about our clients. It's not just about them.
Julia Salvia:Yeah,
nikki grebel:so like they're delivering amazing work like that, but they're also making the client feel like they have an experience.
Julia Salvia:Of course. Yeah, which is so important. I think in any in any business, but I think most especially like the salon hairstyling business because there's some there's just some bad Rep going on with like hair salons. I guess more internally like I haven't experienced it As a, actually, whoa, I take that back. No way. I was going to say, and not here. Definitely not here. Oh, thank God. Because I do get my hair done at Willow and Jamie. With Nikki. Yes. Um, absolutely no bad energy. Every time I come here, like, I'm excited to show up. I'm excited to chat. Like, I'm excited to just have a girl's time. Oh,
nikki grebel:please. Everyone
Julia Salvia:sees your name in
nikki grebel:the book and they're like, Julia's coming in. Aw,
Julia Salvia:they're so cute. I, I even like, I'm like, hi, this is, we know who we are. Exactly. Like, you answered the phone that one time, you're like, we have caller ID. Yeah, I know who you are. I'm working the front today, I see that you're calling. Yeah. But, um, in other places, I've definitely, um, heard from other people how bad sometimes the atmosphere can be in salons. And, I think that's so amazing that you really built this place. On the premise of not just having people who are skilled to do the work, but creating the atmosphere of people to. Create a better atmosphere for clients. Oh, that's so important That's how I hire to like or how I choose to have people on my team. You give me a bad feeling I don't want you.
nikki grebel:Yeah. Oh, yeah the hiring. I'm gonna listen. It's crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna listen my gut Yeah, exactly And now that we have like a team that knows the drill and they're like we know how we have to show up if we're Hiring anyone else we're doing working interviews and they have to be around the team and the team will tell us Yeah, you know we had one girl she was in for two hours, and they were like, we don't know if it's a good fit, and I was like, alright, she's out. I trust you guys, you know? Yeah,
Julia Salvia:that's so good. I think, of course, and to feel like you can build that trust with people, like as if they're, you know, they have the respect for you as a boss, but also that you're a friend and that they can come to you, I feel like creates such a safe work environment too. Yeah. Which is so missing and so, Many workplaces.
nikki grebel:Yeah,
Julia Salvia:it's so important
nikki grebel:that took a while for us to really figure that out
Julia Salvia:Yeah,
nikki grebel:because we started the salon In 2022, a lot of our friends came to work for us, and I'd been managing the salon we were at in the past, but it's different when you own.
Julia Salvia:Oh, of course.
nikki grebel:Yeah. So, our friends came, they're like, yeah, we're gonna be doing hair with our friends! And we're like, actually, like, we have boundaries and standards, you know? Yeah. You know, there was a lot to navigate there. And then we were like, Oh my God, we have a team of, I think the highest number we had at one time was there were 17 of
Julia Salvia:us
nikki grebel:and we were like, how do we give everyone individual attention?
Julia Salvia:Cause that's a lot of people.
nikki grebel:Yeah. So then we started having like one on one meetings with them weekly. That was too much. And they were also like. They thought they were getting, like, fired every time we were like,
Julia Salvia:Hey, come talk to us in the office! We're like, no, we just want to make sure that we have, like, set time for you. Yeah, and I'm
nikki grebel:like, I just want to make sure you're mentally, like, okay, actually. You're not getting fired at all. It's, like, quite the opposite. But, like,
Julia Salvia:wouldn't that right there kind of set off some, like, red flags that their work environment wasn't great in the past? Yeah. Or that people have this idea of this unsafe. Or, like, lack of communication type of, like, work environment. Yeah. Cause it's crazy to think that, oh, you're going into a meeting with your boss and, like, the first thing you think of is, oh, shit, I'm getting fired. Yeah.
nikki grebel:That's so sad. I know. I mean, I think if the roles were reversed and, like, I was in the space that I had been in in the past, I would be like, oh my god, yeah, I am getting fired. We're
Julia Salvia:100 percent doing the same thing, you know? Why do you
nikki grebel:care? Yeah.
Julia Salvia:Why are you giving a shit? Yeah, exactly.
nikki grebel:But that's, I think, what changes the game for small business owners. Oh, yeah. Is like, yeah, you are a small business. You have employees that are from all walks of life. What are they going through? How can you support them? Especially in an industry like this where we're really trying to build our stylists up and there's a lot of training involved. It's very special in that case. But, yeah, I mean, doing those check ins though changed the game, and that's what really tightened the team.
Julia Salvia:Yeah, I think there's a fine line between being a boss and being a friend, but I really think that there needs to be a little bit of both. Yeah. But I think what comes in between that is setting boundaries and respect and trust. Being communicative, like, on both ends. Oh, yeah. On, you know, the person who The employer and the employee, like, so incredibly important to actually make, like, the workspace run efficiently and give the place the atmosphere that you want it to have, the welcoming, safe space. A thousand percent. And I think you guys are definitely doing it. For sure. Thank you. Especially now that that little elf is gone. You could do it tenfold.
nikki grebel:Oh. Honestly, yes. Thank God the elf is gone. I kind of miss him. I wish I had more time where I knew about him. Oh my goodness.
Julia Salvia:Did you know that, um, so what was the feeling actually like before you went to the energy healer that like you, that you felt?
nikki grebel:Um, I do attribute part of the feeling to the car accident I was in because I had a concussion that, like, wrecked me emotionally. I didn't know that concussions did that. First of all, I thought, like, you got concussions if you played football and they lasted three days. I didn't realize they were, like, this whole very serious thing.
Julia Salvia:I feel like, I mean, just like, I was doing some work on, on brains yesterday, so, like, no brain surgeon or anything. I'm, like, What? I was looking, I was looking stuff up that was really interesting that apparently, Your brain, it does not matter whether you're feeling emotional pain or physical pain, your brain processes it, processes it? Processes? Yeah! The same exact way. Oh! So your brain processes physical pain and emotional pain in the same part of your brain. So it doesn't really tell the, you can't really tell the difference. Yeah! Or your brain can't really tell the difference.
nikki grebel:Yeah, that's wild actually. Right? Yeah! So I'm
Julia Salvia:thinking in regards to a concussion, I guess it would depend where in your brain you got the concussion?
nikki grebel:Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that You're feeling it emotionally? Oh my god. Right after the accident, I couldn't stop crying. Like, I couldn't stop crying. It was crazy. My acupunct Freaking shout out to Megan, my acupuncturist. Honestly, she like called me, she's like, I heard you can't stop crying, come to my house. And she's like, I'm just gonna put a bunch of needles in your head. And I was like, okay, and I'm like crying on this table, this acupuncture table in her basement. Like still consistently crying. Like physically could
Julia Salvia:not stop crying.
nikki grebel:Yeah. It was hard to work. I had to like keep it in. It was crazy. I was emotional at all times. And I. I wouldn't have
Julia Salvia:worn makeup for any of those days. No,
nikki grebel:there
Julia Salvia:was no
nikki grebel:mascara
Julia Salvia:to be had. I actually didn't wear mascara today. I forgot, but we'll say it's because just in case I have like a little happy
nikki grebel:cry
Julia Salvia:with you. Perfect.
nikki grebel:Yeah, so I feel like I was in this like depression, like a funk after that. And I was also just like stuck in this cycle of bad things are always happening to me. Like I just had this knee surgery, which. I know that wasn't the case. Like, I had the knee surgery, and I was freaking out that I couldn't work. The salon did better when I wasn't here, which Was very fucking humbling, but I was like, that's a little humbling. I know, I was like, damn. Maybe they're like, we want to impress her while she's gone. Yeah, I was like, it's all actually because they really wanted to work extra hard because I wasn't here. But then like, this car accident happened, and my jeep, which I like attached so much love to this material object, I loved my jeep. Was totaled, you know, and then I was also like, you know, I have no control. I was hit from behind, there was nothing I could have done. So I was like spiraling constantly. And then, I'm not gonna say the elf being removed from my body is what really changed everything, but I did start to feel this sense of lightness.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:And maybe it was a placebo thing, and I just needed to change my mentality. I
Julia Salvia:was just gonna say that. I sometimes think that For this is like for the people who don't believe in energy that don't believe in intuitive ability that don't believe in psychic ability Whatever whatever yeah, this is for those people that don't believe in that I really think that sometimes the there I mean there's scientific proof about placebo effect. Mm hmm that if we believe something has been Magically removed from us and we genuinely believe that that we can actually start like this path to healing Yeah, so If you don't believe in energy, like, I don't know, believe, like, maybe believe it just to help you get on the right path forward. Oh, yeah. Because I'm sure in that moment you're like, okay, well this little elf is gone, poof, bye. But you still are doing what you need to do to help your body physically, help yourself mentally. Exactly. To move
nikki grebel:forward. Yeah. I had, I actually had another placebo thing happen last year. Mm
Julia Salvia:hmm.
nikki grebel:That my friend Steph kept bringing up.
Julia Salvia:Mm hmm.
nikki grebel:Um, I had to get a crown put in my, one of my teeth, like an on lay crown.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:And, the dentist came out and he's like, oh, the lab made a mistake, this crown is gold. And I was like, okay, I mean, it's my back molar. I guess I don't care, but like, I'm going to have a gold tooth. Like, that's crazy.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:Yeah. Like what? I was like, who do I think I am? I mean, give me the gold tooth though. Cause I'm not coming back for this. Like, this is crazy. So I have a gold online crown in the back of my mouth. And when I got it, I was like, Oh my God, I think that this gold crown is making me very abundant. Like I was like, I got like a check in the mail for like a hundred dollars for like no reason. Like. All of these deals were happening for me in my favor and I was like, Oh my God, my gold tooth is just making me abundant. And I believed that for like probably a year and I was like, all of these good things are happening, but it's not that I have a gold tooth and that that's making me lucky or abundant. It's that I have the belief that I am now abundant.
Julia Salvia:It's true.
nikki grebel:Exactly. But
Julia Salvia:I feel like I don't, it's like, I don't want to. Disregard the feeling that something can give you or the truth behind like an energy But if it's gonna give you And affect the way like a placebo effect would or like, yeah, those books like the power of now and things like that I think our mindsets are so incredibly important to help like push us forward that like yeah Fuck. Yeah, the gold tooth gave you some abundance exactly. Yeah,
nikki grebel:because it couldn't be me. It would have to be something external I
Julia Salvia:think we're so hard on ourselves too in that way where we think that it has to be something else It can't just be us. Yep. It can't just be That, that we're putting in the work, that we're doing, like, all the, like, doing all the things that we need to, to push ourselves forward. It has to be the gold tooth.
nikki grebel:Yeah. It has to be the removal of the elf. Exactly. I was talking to my friend Stephanie about it because I also So, your listeners are going to think I'm crazy, but a month ago, I was driving in my now new car and I'm driving behind this big truck and it has a like bobcat, like one of those, I don't know, like one of those big machines, not a crane, but one of those guys. Um, it has a bobcat sticking out at the top and I'm behind it and it's going under an overpass.
Julia Salvia:Oh my god.
nikki grebel:Let me hold on to my seat for this story. Yeah, so. Obviously you're here, so I know you're fine. Uh huh. Continue. Um, it hit the overpass and chunks of cement came down. And of course, me, driving like an idiot, I'm like kind of riding this guy's ass. I should not have been doing it.
Julia Salvia:It's fine.
nikki grebel:I swerved out of the way. I was okay.
Julia Salvia:But. Is your car fine?
nikki grebel:My car is fine.
Julia Salvia:Wow, okay.
nikki grebel:But like these giant chunks of cement would have hit my car. And I would have literally been final destination. And when it didn't happen. Great, while you're sitting here. Yes. Wow. When it didn't happen, I texted my friend Steph and I was like, Oh my God, Steph, like. This just happened. Can you believe that? Do you think I'm cursed? And she's like, Nikki, first of all, you're not fucking cursed up saying it. And she's like, you are divinely protected. She's like, you thought it was your gold tooth last year. She's like, it's you. It's not your fucking gold tooth. Stop trying to think that you need external things to validate you when it's just you, you, as you are like you as. You are as a human being. Yeah,
Julia Salvia:and I think everybody needs to start to realize that. But if we have to use these little external things, like a gold tooth, a little love, like, that's fine. Do it. I used to actually use, um, in relationships, I used to use my future daughter. As my, like, little, I guess, placebo in a way. I love that. Cause I'm like, I know, I think there's every part of me, I think I'm just, I'm just funny now. Um, cause I'm, I, I don't like when people kind of make the assumption that, Oh, you'll have kids one day. Cause no, that's my choice. I could decide tomorrow I don't want to have kids. But I think, within me, I know I will. Um, how that plays out, when that plays out, I don't know. And I'm not worried about it. Um, I just let, let it go as it, as it is. But, I know that I'm going to have a daughter. And I always use her as my, If, if I have a moment where I don't feel good enough, or worthy enough of a situation that's not so good. I ask myself the question, would you allow this to happen to your future daughter?
nikki grebel:Okay. That's crazy. Cause I literally started doing that this week. No! I'm like, I'm gonna have a daughter and would I allow this treatment of her? Would I let my daughter talk to herself the way that I'm talking to myself right now? How do I need to be for my future daughter so that I can raise someone who's strong? That's so crazy.
Julia Salvia:I am over the moon. I am so excited to tell you all about bloom An immersive self love experience. This is my event. This is our event. This is the self love archives IRL in real life, self love event coming to central New Jersey in 2025, this September 28th, you can experience over 100 vendors, over 600 attendees that are going to be in this one space. Wanting to love themselves more. They're there with that same idea, that same purpose of wanting to love themselves more. I created Bloom because I wanted there to be an immersive experience where you have all of the little things that you do for yourself to love yourself more, all in one space. So I'm talking, grabbing your favorite book, planning a little hangout with your girls. Getting some flowers for yourself, having a little bite to eat, just being in a space that is creative, that is aesthetic, that is fun. Basically, it's a self love expo, with a little twist, because we like to keep things aesthetic, we like to keep things comfortable, we like to keep things welcoming at Bloom events. And there's really only one thing that I have to tell you about Bloom. It's that you deserve a day like this. So why not come? So why not spend a day loving yourself more? Pre sale tickets are available on our website right now, but get them fast because there are only a certain amount of pre sale tickets available. So I hope you'll grab a ticket. I hope to see you there. And I absolutely cannot wait to bloom together in 2025. So I want to go back to, um, You starting to think of like your future daughter.
nikki grebel:I think of it as like, inspiration for how I'm treating myself. Yes,
Julia Salvia:because I think we always look at, um, I think some people use it as their friends or their sister or their best friend. Um, you know, asking the question, If someone's treating you badly, would you allow the way that you're being treated, in whatever way you're being treated? For someone to treat someone you love that way. Exactly. Because sometimes we put ourselves so low that we don't put ourselves at the same value as the people we love. Yep. Because we see them as so high. You know, not that they're like better than us or anything like that, but we just see them as so valuable in our lives that we look at their value higher than our own. Oh yeah. So, that's such a strong question, if, to like self reflect on that, especially if you're getting that gut feeling of like, am I being treated the right way? Is this okay? Oh yeah. If you can stop for a second and ask yourself that question, I think it could potentially change your life. It's powerful. Oh yeah.
nikki grebel:It's so powerful. And you know what? A lot of it came from thinking about the conversations I have with clients here. I have a lot of clients who are moms, you know, their daughters are. Oh my god, their daughters are getting older. I've been doing their hair since the daughters were babies.
Julia Salvia:That's crazy.
nikki grebel:Yeah, um, I have one client in particular, and she knows that I'm gonna call her out on this. I love her very much, but she Picks herself apart every time she sits in front of the mirror.
Julia Salvia:Hmm.
nikki grebel:She is, she's a beautiful woman inside and out,
Julia Salvia:but she's
nikki grebel:calling herself ugly. She would never dare say this about anyone else. She's ugly, she calls herself fat, she's saying all these things. She brings her daughter to her appointments. She's looking at herself in the mirror and her daughter's sitting right next to her watching this.
Julia Salvia:Ugh.
nikki grebel:And her daughter started saying, Mom, like, I'm, I need to lose weight. The daughter's 12.
Julia Salvia:Gut wrench. Gut wrench.
nikki grebel:And. Her daughter goes to the bathroom at that, like a couple of minutes later. And her mom, the mom says, can you believe she says she needs to lose weight? She's beautiful. Like she doesn't need to, you know, and she's perfect the way she is. And I had to say, and I don't like interjecting, but I felt like I've been like, I've been known this family for 10 years, clients end up becoming family with us a lot of times. And I said, and I had to do this for her daughter. And I said, do you think. That she's learning this behavior from you. And I probably could have structured the question better, because I was basically like, you're wrong.
Julia Salvia:Sometimes I think people need to hear it like straight forward, like she probably isn't even aware
nikki grebel:of the
Julia Salvia:effect that, of how she treats herself can have an effect on her daughter.
nikki grebel:Yeah, so she said, what do you mean? I said, well I just watched you. Destroy yourself in the mirror. You just picked every aspect of your appearance apart. You know? And she was, like, taking it back. She didn't even realize she was doing it.
Julia Salvia:Yeah, I think it's like a subconscious thing that we do not even realize. Yeah! And it's scary because when it's So sub, like in our conscious, like in, in our subconscious that we are doing it like that. We don't even realize the effect that has on ourselves. Yeah. But especially other people and especially the people that are, you know, we're supposed to be the, like, leader for, like the, for our kids. Like. Exactly. That's crazy.
nikki grebel:Yeah. So after seeing that, you know. Um, I thought about my future, like I want to have a baby one day. I do always have this vision that I'm going to have a daughter and, uh, like it would be a crime if my husband was not a girl dad.
Julia Salvia:He was like, I say the same thing to him. Really? I would love to have like a boy to like, I would love to just a girl, a boy. I think most people kind of feel that way, but yeah, I feel like it would heal just like our Like both of our inner, inner childs to have repre like, not someone, but like a, our kid, like to have a representation of like us. Yeah,
nikki grebel:and just to maybe try to do it a little better this time around than what we had.
Julia Salvia:Oh yeah. Your inner child. Mm hmm. Cause I'm sure that you see yourself within your, your daughter as like a, you know, your child. Yeah. Where do you see, what parts of yourself do you see in her?
nikki grebel:I would say strength, determination, like, I, we've talked about this obviously, but for those who don't know, I had a rough upbringing. There was a lot of physical and emotional abuse. And one thing that I pride myself on is the strength that it took to get out of that.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:So yeah, so I had an interesting childhood. Mm hmm. She was very trying.
Julia Salvia:Mm hmm.
nikki grebel:Um, and I feel like, for the long time actually, I didn't want kids. Because I was like, what did I have to learn? Like, what did I have, who did I have to teach me how to be? Someone's guide and someone's leader. You know? And as time went on and I started actually becoming a leader in my own business and in other people's businesses, I realized, like, I think that my, what I perceived as my weakness is going to be my strength.
Julia Salvia:Mm hmm.
nikki grebel:Like, knowing all of the things that have gone wrong are going to help me in the long run.
Julia Salvia:You know, there's a point in astrology that literally is that.
nikki grebel:What do you mean? It's
Julia Salvia:called, it's called Chiron. And it's your pain and your healing. So it's where you have pain and it's where you find healing. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It's a really, it's a really cool point and I, I don't think that it gets. enough knowledge. No. Or like, it doesn't get talked about enough.
nikki grebel:Yeah, no. But it's
Julia Salvia:so interesting. Especially when you read someone's chart and you look for that. I'm like, oh shit, I know your entire life.
nikki grebel:Really? Oh yeah. Oh my god. Like, if
Julia Salvia:you have Chiron in the 8th house, um, the 8th house is like debts, inheritance, um, taxes. Uh huh. It's like, a very interesting house. Yeah. But it mostly has to do with money you can't see. Interesting. And if you have Chiron there, my first assumption is, you most likely have Some struggle with either things that you have inherited.
nikki grebel:Okay.
Julia Salvia:Maybe you have a difficulty with, um, like you're in massive amounts of debt.
nikki grebel:Okay.
Julia Salvia:But that's your learning, essentially. Like that's where you're going to learn a lot about yourself. And if you can push through that pain that you have in that area of your life, you can find healing.
nikki grebel:Interesting. Yeah. We have to see where yours is. I know. I'm like, are we going to also do like a birth chart thing later? Is your phone in the back? Uh, I could turn it on. But yeah, I actually like, I thought about this a lot actually when you asked me to be on the podcast. Like when I was like, Oh, what are we talking about? Like business? And you're like, no Nikki, my podcast is actually called the self love archives. Like. It's about self love and I was like, I was like taken aback. I was like, what does she mean? I can't talk about loving myself.
Julia Salvia:Yes, you can.
nikki grebel:Yes, I can. But I had to think about it because I just I guess I never put intentional thought to it. Mm
Julia Salvia:hmm,
nikki grebel:and I was like, wow, I guess I really friggin hate myself like what the hell and then I realized like no The things that I've done to show self love are just a little unconventional to other people. So having this difficult upbringing Um I didn't really have boundaries with anyone. I didn't show myself that respect like you would want your daughter to show herself. Um, and when I turned 28, yeah, when I was 28, I cut my whole family out of my life.
Julia Salvia:Funny.
nikki grebel:Is that,
Julia Salvia:what? It's another astrology thing.
nikki grebel:Is this my Saturn return?
Julia Salvia:And
nikki grebel:do you know what, do
Julia Salvia:you know what a Saturn return means, essentially? Usually like trials and tribulations. Boundaries. Ugh, boundaries. The most. Significant parts of someone's life, like, you know, those parts of our lives that we always think about are so big, like, we get, when we get married, when we break up with someone, when someone passes away, when we cut people out of our lives, when we get a new job, or we lose a job, like, huge things happen around our Saturn return, and 28 to like 30 is when we go through our Saturn return. It depends, of course, like, you know, some specifics, but our Saturn return is about two and a half years. That is wild. If you ask anybody, what happened when you were 28 to 30? What big things happened in your life? Yeah. And I could, I could name some for anybody. Like someone That's crazy. Me? My dad died.
nikki grebel:Yeah.
Julia Salvia:Then you have my boyfriend got a new job.
nikki grebel:Yeah, like all these crazy big things. Nikki? Cut her whole family out of her life. Cut my whole family out of my life. My dad died, I opened a salon. That's insane. Yeah. Well that was like 28 to 31.
Julia Salvia:Still.
nikki grebel:Yeah. Still
Julia Salvia:like all a part of it in like the bigger picture. And now. That's crazy. You're past your Saturn return.
nikki grebel:Yeah.
Julia Salvia:How
nikki grebel:does that feel? I don't fucking know. I'm getting evil elves extracted out of my body right now.
Julia Salvia:But it's crazy looking back on, on these parts of our, ourselves. In that self love journey of yours to be like, oh shit. Yeah. Wow. Okay Look at all these things that I went through and look at who I am today And maybe you're still in a place where you need growth in some spots in some places I mean, we're always gonna be constantly growing but to see where you came from Where that seven year old Nikki came from is so wild, and I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Of course. I'm proud of you. No, no, no. I'm proud of you. This podcast isn't about me today. It's about you. No, you hang up first.
nikki grebel:No,
Julia Salvia:you hang up. No,
nikki grebel:you hang up. Yeah. No, it is absolutely insane, but also I want to thank you for even, for inviting me onto this because honestly, I needed to have those thoughts and to really like analyze. Why it felt so uncomfortable for me to be like, I'm gonna talk about loving myself. What the hell. How do I get out of this? No, I was
Julia Salvia:like,
nikki grebel:I'm doing uncomfortable things because I need to grow
Julia Salvia:That's what it is. I mean uncomfortable things are what what help us grow and um a self love journey Is our entire life. Yes. It's not like a moment or maybe there are some moments that like stick out But it's our entire life and yeah That's gonna be like really uncomfortable to say to look at ourselves in the mirror Like I hope that client of yours does and say I love myself Mm hmm takes a lot and sometimes you probably won't believe yourself, but yeah, it takes a lot to actually say it do it Be about it. Choose it. Absolutely. All of the above.
nikki grebel:And I think that there is something to be said about the idea that it can be easier for you to do it if you're like, Oh, I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this for my future daughter.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:I'm doing this for people who are looking that I might not even be aware of. People I'm inspiring that I'm not aware of. I mean, I think the one battle is to really get it to the point where you're like, no, I'm actually doing this for myself. I
Julia Salvia:think it's a good start. It's like doing it for someone else, especially if we're in a place where we don't feel so great or we're in a really tough spot, like we're in an abusive relationship or we're in a relationship with a friend that is really Discouraging and yeah, if or if we're in a place mentally where we just don't feel good about who we are sometimes having that little bit of a crutch to use someone or something else that means a lot to us as the First step into our journey of loving ourselves. It can be So helpful. Yeah. But of course it's a self love journey. It's about the self. If we can come back to realizing that we're really doing this for us, because if we love ourselves, everyone will, you know, flock to us in the ways that they're supposed to be in our lives. Yeah. We'll have great relationships around us. We'll have great people around us. We'll have great things around us because we decided to say, no, I'm going to, I'm going to love me. Yeah. So that I can love you.
nikki grebel:That was a fucking mic drop moment, sister. I don't
Julia Salvia:want to drop this.
nikki grebel:Yeah, don't drop the new mic, but
Julia Salvia:But it's so true. And what, what do you think about your, to kind of like bring this all full circle. Like we're in an email, but it's my favorite saying, bring this full circle. What would you say is the biggest part of your self love journey that got you, what's the biggest thing that got you from You know, since we're on seven year old Nikki. Yeah. From seven year old Nikki to who Nikki
nikki grebel:is today. I think it's taking the time to honor and reflect on the difficult things that I've done. Mm hmm. And the way that I've kind of gone against the odds. Like, the way that I was raised, I don't think a lot of people would have been able to handle.
Julia Salvia:I
nikki grebel:have two sisters, and they're, you know, my younger sister, she's trying her hardest to do okay. She's starting her own journey, and you know, healing from our childhoods, and she's like, I don't know how you did it. And I always tried to protect her.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:You know, like, she didn't know that the craziness was going on, for the most part, because I was trying to protect her from it.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
nikki grebel:But, I think that allowing myself to feel proud of who I am because of what I've been through, is the biggest part. And for a long time, I thought that I was being a pompous jerk for being like, I've done it, I can do this, I have confidence because I've gone through worse shit. But I think stepping into that has allowed me to become a better leader, a better wife. A better friend, a better communicator, all of those things.
Julia Salvia:Yeah, of course. I love that so much. Thank you. Thank
nikki grebel:you. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you. I can't wait to see you again in two days for a blackout. I know. I can't wait to get my hair done. It's gonna be stunning. Hell yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I love you.
Julia Salvia:I love you. Thank you so much always for tuning in to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. But as much as I enjoyed having this conversation with Nikki, such a sweet, kind soul, and such an amazing story, and I hope you felt like this conversation was as if you were just in a circle of best friends. Because that's truly how it felt editing this video, I felt like I was taken, I was just like watching our conversation on FaceTime all over again. And I hope you learned a little bit about yourself from this episode. And of course, as always, don't forget to love yourself a little bit more this week. I will see you in just two weeks for our next episode where we talk all about Bloom and all of the super exciting things coming. Thank you for listening, once again, I love you so much. Have the best week ever, and I'll see you soon. Bye.
