falling in love with your body at all chapters with aerie real maker + midsize creator, jade lagassé

i love everything about this conversation with jade. in this episode, we get into all of the different phases of jade's life and how she came to be a midsize creator + aerie real maker, loving her body and all parts of herself.

i hope you love this episode as much as we did recording it.

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connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia

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Transcript

Julia Salvia: 0:00

Hola from Barcelona! Welcome back to the Self Love Archives podcast. I am your host, Julia Salvia, and as you are listening to this, I am in Barcelona, Spain, finally getting a chance to relax and explore the world. But I'm super excited for today's podcast episode because I am chatting with Jade Lagasse and she is such a sweetheart inside and out. I actually found her on social And honestly is just such a sweet soul. So I can't wait to chat about her career as an influencer and also how it is working with Aerie and also really getting into the depths of what her self love journey is and what got her to where she is today. So enjoy, take a listen, and I'll see you guys soon. I'm super excited to introduce you guys to Jade. I found you actually on social media. And everything that you share on social media is so incredibly aligning in regards to self love and just your lifestyle and you make it look so aesthetic. And I'm so, of course, I'm so excited to connect. So tell everybody who you are and where they can find you. Um, yeah, I'm Jade. I have been doing social media, not for very long, actually only for about two ish years more full time, I think. Um, I basically started out on TikTok. I just started doing, I feel like every one day, like around the pandemic, they're just doing little videos. And then I was like, you know what? I actually feel like I have more that I want to share. And not, and I actually went to university for, um, therapeutic recreation, which a lot of people don't know what that is, but basically it's a form of therapy. Um, and you work with clients of all. Ranges so like someone could have like a disability it could be people who are older, but basically you help them create like Activities to like better their mental health to put it simply But basically I I've always been about community and creating a community and I was like, you know Let me just try this and I also just wanted to find people that I could connect to because I always grew up Not being able to connect really with anyone when it came to mid sized fashion, and that's what I kind of started out with on social media. So I was like, let me just give this a go and I started doing it and then it's not been a huge big crazy blow up in my community, but I mean I would say it's been a progressive one and I feel like That feels even more intimate at the time. So yeah, I kind of started on Tik TOK and then I just recently, as of the past few months, started to take Instagram a little bit more seriously. So I'm on both those platforms right now and just kind of feeling it out and taking it day by day, but I love what I do. And I work with so many amazing people. I've met so many amazing other creators like yourself. Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at right now. I love that. That's definitely where I found you and where I connected with you on is just mid size content creation and really focusing on loving this version of ourselves that I don't think was ever, or at least in the past couple of years, was ever portrayed in regards to social media. Like, we've seen, of course, that Straight sizes. It's always been a thing, like sharing a what I eat in the day or an outfit video and we're, we're not seeing plus represented whatsoever. But now, I think in 2023, 2024, we started, or even prior to then, we really saw a lot more plus size women sharing content. And it kind of brings you into this place. Well, what do I call me? Cause I'm like, I don't fit in, or we don't fit into like straight sizes most times or plus size. It's like, it depends on the brand. It depends. Yes. It's like, it depends on so many different things. The brand, what country you're buying it from, who's the maker of it. And it's like, sometimes you fit in straight sizes. Sometimes you fit in plus sizes. Sometimes you don't fit in either. And you're just like, where do I fit in this space? picture of Like what who am like, what is my body considered essentially like I I don't like giving like tags Yeah, like labels. Yeah labels exactly like of what it is, but sometimes we need that to know what Community we fit in with yeah, I think that's how I connected with you because we both fit into that Community of midsize. I know and it's so nice to like have that relatability with someone else Yeah, and like you said with the labels like it's like you don't always want to put Something on that but I mean, it's like helpful to know what community you're part of but also where do I shop like What can I get to like fit my figure and I feel like that's always been such a struggle, especially with jeans I don't know about you, but jeans are like Not my best friends As of recently though like Abercrombie, I feel like their curve love style is like My favorite right now, but it's definitely tricky to kind of see like, where do I belong? Cause I feel for so long, like we did grow up in a society where everything was like very much tailored to a straight figure. And I feel like curves and hips and butts and boobs, like no one, like that wasn't like really creative for us. And I feel like there weren't really inclusive, like clothing that really fit. Yeah. Our body figure at the time, even like 10 years ago, I would say we were still struggling with that. Oh yeah. We still do. Oh, we still totally do. And I think there's so much work to do in the fashion industry and with society and people's perspectives. But it's nice to see that we're like starting to get right path. Like, I finally feel like no one's going to criticize me for my body the way they used to, when I was like a lot younger. For sure because we're not we're in a different era of like what I think I'm not even like a different era I think we're just Acceptive of just who we are and because they're yeah because there are so many more people Actually sharing their true honest body and not trying to be this norm That society is just creating, I think that it's um, allowing us to actually connect with each other and to just love the bodies that, that we have. Like, I want to show my body off more now than I, than I did when I was like 12. Oh my gosh, I know. I was like, I always used to like wear long sleeves and like really baggy clothes and like I do still kind of wear, Baggish clothes because I just find it more comfortable. Yeah, but like I didn't feel comfortable to wear form fitted outfits I was just like, oh someone's gonna see my back rolls like someone's gonna see my muscular legs and I was so in my head because of like all the Criticism that I would get from like people I would see day to day, but also just like within society It just didn't feel like it was accepted and I feel like now Especially like, I feel like I'm at a point where I can look at myself and like, and I don't think as much as I, about it as I used to. I'm not as in my head over it. So it's kind of refreshing. It's probably, it's probably refreshing too, to like wear the baggy clothes because you want to feel like you have to, or that you have to hide something. I couldn't agree more with that. Yeah. And I will say, going back to what you said about pants. They have, I've, I don't know what it is about pants. So I have super big legs, but I don't really have the widest hips. So the problem I always had with pants is that it would fit my legs, but then be too, um, small or smaller on the waist. Yeah, it was like one or the other. It was like too big on the legs. It was too small on the waist. Or if it was like too small on the legs, it was too big on the waist. Either or it was just like, there was nothing. In between so sometimes the curve works out for me But sometimes it doesn't and then it's like straight sometimes works out and then sometimes it doesn't so it's just It's crazy to me thinking about how different Every single brand's sizing is, oh my gosh, women's sizing. Yeah, it's, it's crazy. I think, I feel like I've like spent so much time investing money but also like research and like trying different things and I have to say, you feel so defeated when you're trying to find like the right fit. Like you're like, okay, it's just not working for me. I'm just gonna have to wear sweatpants, leggings, like stretchy things. And it's like, but I don't want to like the baggy jean trend. I love the look of baggy jeans. I want to be able to do that where it's not like tight around my inner thighs and my butt, and then it's not like gapping all over my waist. Like, you know, it's like, what do I find? And I feel like I've kind of narrowed down my brands a little bit now, but I still think it's not always perfect. And like, sometimes I go and get it tailored. It's like, where is, where is the in between still? I still think there's so much work to be done, but it's nice that they're starting to create more options for us out there. Agreed. Agreed. I, I definitely think that there is, There's a start happening. There's an extension happening. I think it's that, but that in between between that in between between like saying good job, but we need more. Yeah. But you need to keep going. We're not done yet. Correct. There's still so much work to be done, but I think we're on the right start. So you work with Aerie. Yes, who is one of my favorite brands? Um, I I have a love hate relationship with eric because I know that they have some work to do in regards to their sizing But they are in that starting phase of being more progressive in regards to extending their sizing. And I also noticed as just like an Aerie shopper, that their sizing does run, I would say, a little bit bigger. Yes, it does. Yeah. Then the actual, I guess what the normal size is, which who knows what that is at this point. I know. It's like, what is the normal size? Yeah. So how did that come to fruition? And Why did you start working with Aerie? Because of course, like, whether you reached out to them, or they reached out to you, or it Came together from um, you know your team or anything like that At the end of the day like it's a decision on their end, but it's also a decision on your end. Totally Yeah, so honestly I was surprised so I actually got um reached out to by their marketing team um And I was surprised and they messaged me on instagram two of all things which was Crazy, and I wasn't sure if it was like legitimate or not, to be honest. And then I went through the press and I'm like, Oh, this is actually real. This is real. And it's. To me, like, I think we were talking about, um, like spirituality and like astrology earlier, like if manifesting came to life for me in one moment, this far, it was to work with Aerie. Like I would say, since I was so, so like very young, like high school, public school, I really started to resonate with them because it was truthfully the only brand that like, I actually didn't feel like things were pinching into my sides as much. I didn't feel like I felt like I could put on. a size medium or a size large and I could actually feel like Myself, and I didn't feel like it was suffocating me. Yeah comfortable too of all things It was comfortable and I always felt that their fabrics were very They were made to like feel lived in and like it's your second skin Especially with bras like bras are like a whole other thing too. Like can be so uncomfortable So anyways, I started on tiktok and I wasn't even You I didn't really have much of a platform at that time to be honest, but I was consistent. I was putting hauls of them just because I truthfully loved the brand and I think those are the best partnerships that you'll ever work with is like when like you truthfully believe in a brand and like you really love their pieces and I feel like when people say just naturally post about it, like people will come to you. Um, So yeah, that's kind of how it worked and then it was kind of a bit different the first year I've been working with them for about two years now and Honestly, I just really Aligned with their morals and values as a brand. I think like not only are they Continuing to try to be size inclusive, but I think and they're and you can tell that they're actually putting the works in into doing that Versus like some other brands. I feel like sometimes they just easily pop up like Like, well, they'll go like 3x and 6x, but it's like, are you, are you just putting that in as the actual, as the size actually like, truthful to what you're promoting? Like, is it? Yeah. And are you just doing that to like, make yourself look good and you're not actually putting in the work to do the research and to like, make the change, you know? Yeah. Whereas them, I feel like they're always working on that. And then also the big aspect of it was just how inclusive they are with everyone, not just with size, but with everything. People with disabilities. And I think like that speaks really deeply to me because like I said, I studied therapeutic recreation. So like we learned about a lot about people with disabilities and like, that was like, those would be our big clientele. And like, even though I didn't like continue that after university, it's like something that's very close to my heart to like, so to see a brand that's so mindful and so inclusive and has such a welcoming community, I think was a big I've been working them for two years for a reason and that's kind of because of that So and I just love I love it I have so much fun like styling all the pieces and working with the team and i'm so grateful that they've Believed in me to continue with me for the past two years and to keep doing it even though like I'm, not a big creator but I feel like it's just refreshing to be like you don't have to be to like Yeah, those opportunities and to be seen and to be valued by those kind of brands, especially one that i've You know supported for so long. So yeah, that's kind of where I'm at right now, and I just love working with them Everyone's so so amazing and so sweet. So that's definitely something that i've been enjoying when you do shoots with them What is something that really stands out? from the way that they go about the process of doing the shoot because I've been in a couple shoots before and sometimes it can be really like Uncomfortable in them like it can just be really uncomfortable in regards to the way that they want you to pose, speak, and be So is there anything that stands out in like a positive light? So, I've, like, my work with Aries so far has been mostly in my control of, like, creating the content myself and taking the photos myself. Obviously, they go through an approval stage and, like, have to review the content, but truly, like, anytime we're given a brief or an outline to create the content that we do, it is to be your authentic self, to style the way you would style it. It's all about you and what makes you comfortable, and I think that's, like, Something that's made it so easy for me to be honest And I feel like that's what's made other people connect to it too. It's because i'm just Being me and I feel like that's so nice But I will say I have done like a lot of shoots for other brands like for swimwear brands um for athletic brands and stuff like that and I do I was nervous the first time I ever did it but I have to say so far i've been Really really really lucky to be working with brands that are very Well first all run by females which is like so fun and like and everything and so like I feel like they as like a woman like you can understand like how being exposed like that sometimes can be like a little bit uncomfortable so I feel like automatically I've had all the scenarios and environments be like very calm and relaxed and like let's just take our time like let's warm up and like if you're feeling a bit uneasy we can take a step back so yeah I have to say so far I've had a really good experience. With all of that and it's just been really fun and creative and I love creativity and trying things that are new So, you know and I feel like in a situation though that like some things wouldn't go as well Which luckily I have not had to experience yet um At least for myself. I feel comfortable enough to like speak up and say hey like i'm not really comfortable like this Can we? put a pause, or like, I don't want to continue. So I feel like, you know, it's all about the mindset and being like prepared in those situations, because like really anything can happen, especially when you don't really know the people very well. And maybe you're just having a bad day too, and you're just not feeling it, and I feel like that's okay, and I feel like it's good for people to understand that that's You know, if you're going to be in a swimsuit or if you're gonna be in lingerie, then it's okay to like say no Like I'm not feeling it anymore. Even if you said yes in the beginning, so all situational I guess. Yeah, definitely No, that's so good to hear especially from you know from someone on the outside looking in and kind of making these assumptions or expectations of like what that would be like because You I don't know. I think back to like America's next top model, like how traumatic I would, would be traumatized. I would be traumatized that that is just like a whole other level. Like talking about being like picked apart to the T. Yeah. Like that's just so unhealthy. 100%. I feel like it doesn't matter what your body figure is, like you don't, that's so like. Almost inhumane to an extent. Yes. It blew my mind. I was like what? And it's like it didn't really occur to me because I watched I watched it as a kid and like, did not even, kid or teen, I don't know how old it was, but it did not occur to me that anything in that show was wrong because of just the way that society, the way that I was raised, like the way that things just were. And it was like, You're watching it not even processing like how cruel or traumatic or mean that this show is and You're thinking that this is all just okay Because of the I guess pedestal that you're just automatically assuming it's on. Yeah, exactly Crazy, so it's so good to hear like now fast forward way past America's Next Top Model days that you're We're that brands are looking at people for people, not as products, not as just a picture, not as something to help people. something. It's, it's good to hear that it's a lot more down to earth, honestly. I know. And it's like, it's refreshing because my younger sister actually, she modeled for a little bit of time. And, um, I would say it was like pretty good for the most part, but there were definitely moments where you could just sense that the environment just wasn't Great. And, um, like I don't want to speak on it too much and say the wrong things but you could just like get a sense that like it was, it was, it felt more specific to like how society deems what the actual body figure should be. Like it wasn't a very like wide range of accepting qualities within that. Modeling firm business. So it was, um, it was interesting to see that side of it. Cause so when I was going into it, I'm like, Oh my gosh, am I going to deal with that? Am I going to deal with all that anxiety and all that stress and like get in my head and not feel like I'm good enough and all this stuff. But truthfully, like so far, my experience, it's just been feeling like me. And that's just, they want me for me. And it's so nice and refreshing. Cause I haven't always felt like that my whole life. So it was. Yeah, it's been, it's been great so far. Yeah. That's so good to hear. And when you say that you haven't felt like that your whole life, where, where do you think you started and how did you get to where you are today with feeling good in who you are, who, who Jade is? Yeah. I mean, I definitely would say like, It's a lot. It's been a lifelong journey to be honest. Um, and I feel like a lot of people can relate to this. Um, I don't know. Ever since I was younger, I actually grew up in the Caribbean for a good chunk of my life. And so it kind of started there. Like the kids were just always picking on me. Like I was physically getting tossed around. Like, it was just like. very aggressive and it was all because of my body and I don't understand it and then when we came back to Canada it was the same thing and I know people can say you know you have to look at the bully's point of view and like what they were going through like you know maybe they have a really rough upbringing and like all that stuff and I do look at it and I do have sympathy for it and I try to have that understanding with it but my whole life I would say I've always been picked on for my body. Even in high school, I had people calling me a tank. Like, just like, all these like, very rude things. Um, and I could go into like, such in depth details, but that would take forever. But I would say definitely, I went through a lot of bullying about my body from a very young age, that an age a person should never go through, like probably since the age of five, and all the way into My teen years like all the way until I left high school probably to be honest with you and it's funny because I feel like a lot of people would say like Oh, but you were so sweet and so kind and like shy but I was like, maybe that's why they wanted to like You know, so it kind of broke it. Yeah, I know and I was just like And then so I kind of started getting a tough shell on myself and I was like, you know what like I'm, not gonna be that shy person anymore. I'm not gonna let people take advantage of me anymore. So I started to grow my confidence from there, is starting to speak up and starting to be like, Oh, actually like this isn't right. And like, I should speak up on this. And like, I'm okay the way I am and nothing is wrong with that. I also grew up dancing a lot. Like I would spend six days a week dancing. Like I did 14 dance classes and I loved my studio and I had such an amazing experience. But even then, like, You're exposed to, again, the standard of like, what a dancer's body should be like. And I look back at photos and I was like, honestly, like, how could anyone even criticize a 12 year old, a 10 year old? in that phase of their life. And like it, but you still felt compared to sometimes in certain situations. And I wanted to continue in dance, like after high school, but I didn't feel the encouragement that I could do it because of my body. So it just like, there's always that factor around my life that like, I was too curvy. I was too heavy. I was too muscular. I was all these things that like, didn't, I didn't check off the right things in other people's eyes. And I feel like that really like hit me hard. And I decided to look at it one day and I was like, I can either, you know, feed into this or I can cut it off and I can start speaking up and I can start giving myself a fresh perspective on myself because it was so exhausting. And I feel like, again, a lot of people can relate to this waking up every day, looking in the mirror, looking at your body. Pinching yourself, wishing that this part would just shrink off, like, you know, holding yourself back from eating things that you enjoy. All these things, and it's so exhausting. It's so exhausting. It's so damaging to your mental health and to your physical health. And I was like, something needs to switch, something needs to change. And to be honest, when I started to go into university, it was kind of a rough patch for me even then. But when I came out of it and I started making videos, I was like, wait, maybe this is not just like something I like doing for fun and to be goofy, but maybe this is also my kind of outlet to a, find a community that I can connect to. And that relates to me, but also that I feel like I can be a part of, cause I never really felt that way. And I feel like. It was so, such a struggle to not feel like you fit in. Like I didn't want to wear swimsuits when I was younger. I didn't want to show off my arms. Like I was so insecure all the time. I was always comparing myself to other people. And so I feel like it's just honestly, I don't even want to say training yourself, but it's just about surrounding yourself with the right people, the right things, the right mentalities, what you read, what you view, um, on social media, and very wary about like. What I follow, who I follow sometimes, and like what people are really like promoting and stuff and But again, I feel like I just want to be around genuine authentic people Yeah, I feel like that's not down to like what you look like or what your ethnicity is or if you have a disability I think just surrounding yourself on the internet with people who like are just genuinely like Wholehearted, like, good people who are also creative and fun, and like, I love fashion, so if they love fashion, just like, fun seeing everyone's different spins and interpretations on the same things you're interested in, and then just the people in your life, like, having the right friends, the right family, and communicating to family and friends about how things make you feel, because we don't always say the right thing, and I think that's important to always have that mindset, that like, We're human and we're not perfect and we're not always going to say the right things. So I think communication is a huge thing. But I would definitely say The reason I've gotten to the place of loving my body for what it is and who it is, is a, it's gotten me through so much in life and it does so many amazing things, especially as a woman. Like the fact that you can create life is like a crazy thing, even though like I'm kind of far from that, but like don't worry. Me too far from it. Yeah. Lemme just clarify . Yeah. But I just have so much appreciation for what? Like especially the female body can do. Yeah. And. I think we go through seasons and that's something I've really learned is that we do go through seasons and like things can fluctuate and things can change and there's no point in looking at a past self or a future self and being hard on yourself about it because we all go through different things whether it's emotionally, physically, so it's just like really having the right perspective on things and I'm not always perfect about it but I definitely feel That I have a relationship with myself that I didn't when I was younger, and I'm so grateful for that. So yeah Yeah, I completely agree. Long story short. Yeah, no, I Agree with absolutely everything you're saying because I think we all want to be a part of a community, right? Yeah, we're not meant to be alone in this life We never were. We never are. We're not. We're not. We're not. And we're, and we are not meant to be alone and we're not actually alone. I think the issue is where we are today in this world is that we don't feel comfortable enough to share whatever we're going through, whether that's something great, something not so great, something that hurts us, something that, you know, pushes us forward. Sometimes we Don't want to share it because of the way that the world makes us isolate ourselves in this way. So we want to be a part of a community. We want like minded people within that community. We want kind, good people. We want people to value the same things as us that are in that community. So I think the content that we consume, the words from others in within that community that we consume, absolutely everything that we surround ourselves. Has an adverse or an amazing, you know, whether that's an adverse like good way, like it affects us in a good or a bad way and either pushes us forward or pulls us back or keeps us in the same place that we are. So it's so incredibly important to align ourselves with whatever community or communities that we want to be a part of. So I think that's so important, especially in. Whatever part of our healing journey or journey that we're in in this moment because it can make a world of a difference but I think what is the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself from Absolutely everything Yeah, like no yeah, like isolating yourself from being a part of a community or isolating yourself and thinking that I love this. I love saying this because it's it it shocks people and it's kind of mean but it's really not You We are not special. No. We're not special. Someone else Yeah, like I kind of agree with that more. We're all human beings. Yes. We're all human beings. We have the same parts. We're the same people. Like, what you do and who you are really doesn't make a difference. We're all truly the same. We're all human, so like, we really aren't that special. We all have a different story and all have different experiences, but the similarity is there is someone else that has, you know, witnessed some of the same things you have. That has the same favorite color as you. That has, has felt this way about this. Who, who has a similar journey or path to you. So of course our unique journeys and paths are unique to us. They are different. They are special, but there is someone else out there that has felt the same or experienced something the same. And when you decide to be open and honest about who you are and that path and journey that you're on, you will find other people that Are a part of your community, um, but it's just a matter of, of sharing it and speaking about it. Exactly. And I think like to add onto that is, I mean, we both do social media, so I feel like there's such a big, you know, brain fog almost starting into it. It's just like, do I do this or do I not? People are going to, I think I'm cringey, people are gonna like judge me XYZ, but it's like, you really, and it's so cliche now I feel, but like, you really do have to embrace the cringe, and you just have to go for it. And it's like, it's really not even that cringey. It's so cringey when you like look back on like the first couple of videos that you've done. I've like hidden so many of my videos, just like, wait, we were just, we were just testing the wheels here. But that's what you have to do to like warm up to it. I felt that way about my podcast. Like when I first started the Stealthful of Archives podcast, I was like, this is so cringey. I feel like I'm reading off a script. I don't want to do this. And I'm just like, No, I know that this is part of the process and you know, a couple episodes from now, a couple of social media posts from now are going, I'm going to feel so much more comfortable in sharing everything that I want to share. I'm going to find my people and you know, maybe it's not a hundred or a hundred thousand or, You know, a million people, but it's going to be one or two. And those are the people that are going to make the difference in you continuing your journey, um, in whatever way, way it is. And, and I also want to mention too, it doesn't have to just be, you know, social media and doing something. That honestly is like out there for the whole public to see it could just be Speaking up to the community around you. Yes friends your family Um a new friend like someone that you have met Talking, I don't know talking to like the FedEx guy like I don't know Like my US delivery guy, he loves, I don't . I think that they tolerate me because I'm kind and I put out some snacks during the holidays. Oh, that's so . I would love that if I was a delivery person. be like, this is my favorite. Yes, I put out with tons of stuff for them during the holidays. Um, but now I think. Unfortunately, there's so many boxes for my event, Bloom, getting delivered to my house. Yeah. So I've been warning all of them. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like, you're going to be delivering a lot of stuff recently. And they're just like, okay. Like, I'm that person. Nothing new. Yes. Like, I'm that person that has a full blown conversation about something I'm purchasing while I'm, In like a grocery store, like Target line or something like that. And like, they ask a question about something I'm purchasing. I'm like, yeah, I love this. And then I go into a whole story, but, but to my point, I'm like, I go off the path so easily, like try and catch myself. I'm like, okay, wait, what was the point of this? Oh, my credit card. You need me to pay. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to trauma dump on you. Yeah. I saw this. Um. this meme about, um, or it was like a Tik Tok or something about how women meeting for the first time. And it goes into like, yeah, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite food? What do you like around here? Yeah. So when I was five, and this trauma happened and like, I'm really just trying to heal. Like, it's just like one that you resonate and like, Oh yeah, this happened to me. But it's to that point, like, You have to be open to sharing your story or at least parts of it to find that community. And, and there are going to be people like my FedEx guy that are going to look at me like I'm crazy. Or the lady from the grocery store that's like, I don't relate girl. Just pay and leave. And that's okay and it's going to happen, but there are people out there that do resonate with you. Yeah, and there's so many people out there who do resonate with you. The world is so large and so big. Truly, I think, for anyone who's even considering going into social media, I'd say just do it. And you really just have to like, start. And you have to be patient, and you have to be kind to yourself. I feel like it's so easy to compare to other people, even, even just as a creator. Cause like, especially now I find it's so saturated. So it feels like there's so much going on and especially when you're really passionate about getting across a certain point You just have to be patient and you have to be consistent and you just have to start and you have to embrace the cringe Even though it is gonna be cringy. You're so right It's gonna be cringy at the beginning because it's all new to you. But like it's with literally anything You're not going to get good at it unless you practice it. Yeah. It is the phrase practice makes perfect, but not even perfect, but just like more normal, you know, cause it's not very like, it's not like, it's very different, maybe at least like when I was in high school, it wasn't like a thing to like talk to the camera. Like YouTube was just kind of becoming like a big thing. Like Facebook was, you know, Instagram had just sort of started to come out. And now it's like talking to a camera is just. I guess more the norm now, but it hasn't always been. So it's just like getting comfortable with that and like using the tools more and understanding them. So it might feel cringy at the beginning, but you just have to do it. What do you think is the most pivotal part of your self love journey? Like mine myself? Yeah, like was there anything that stood out whether it was something very positive or something that really just pushed you You Either over the edge or just to Almost like say like screw you i'm just gonna love myself now because your opinion does not matter Yeah, I think like I mean before I started getting into social media I had gone through a really rough year in my second year university. I'd lost a lot of people I'd gotten a concussion. I couldn't really like do a lot or like move my body Um, and so I gained a lot of weight That was like the heaviest I, I had ever been and it was the unhealthiest I had ever been like mentally and I was so blind to it and, um, it was kind of like a health scare for my mental health. Like I've always like really, I feel like I'm pretty in tune with myself to be honest and that was the one moment that I wasn't in tune with myself and so it kind of scared me and I didn't feel like I had control over anything and, cause there's just so much going on and it was just so heavy. And so I feel like that kind of gave me like a scare in terms of like actually taking care of myself, but also realizing that like how I said earlier is that we go through seasons and I feel like, you know, like that was a really rough time in my life, but it's okay that I went through that. It's okay that I gained weight and it's like, it didn't like, Control my life into a sense of like, I couldn't do certain things. Like I could still do whatever I wanted to do. I was still equal to whoever I was surrounded by in a grocery store at school and class, you know, with my peers, with my family, like I was just going through a season of my life. And I feel like I kind of just like, that's when I started to get that mindset where I was like. Okay, we're not always going to have, like, the perfect things. I look at myself in high school, despite, like, that I didn't always have the happiest moments. I felt pretty happy, and I felt like I was trying to, or I wasn't trying to be. I just was, like, a very, like, bubbly person, like, and mostly with my friends and family outside of school. And I always would look back at it and I'd be like, why can't I be like that anymore? Like, why aren't I like that right now? And I was just like, that was just like a season of my life. And I went through a season of my life where I was really depressed and really in a dark place. And I didn't feel really good about my body, but that's okay. And I feel like just that mindset switch and like, almost like self awareness too, is like, we can look however we can be, whoever we can go through anything, and we're still us. And yeah. The right people in our lives are going to love and accept us for who we are, no matter what we're going through. And my body is a vessel to help me go through all of that. All the good, all the bad, all the ugly. And I feel like I just grew such an appreciation for like what I was able to manage for myself because of the body that I have. And I was like, Oh, I love you. And so then I do start doing social media cause I used to be so hard on myself about everything. And I started creating videos, and honestly, that became my biggest outlet. I, I just, I felt like I could express myself exactly with how I felt, and I felt like other people were relating to me at a certain point, and I was like, oh my gosh, like, I'm not alone, like, people are understanding this too, and other people feel this way too. So, it was kind of refreshing. So it was kind of those two things. It was going through that really dark phase, and understanding the seasons of our lives, and like, That we're always going to change and like we're not always going to be the same and that's okay And our bodies can carry us through so much and we have to like look at that and like learn to like love and appreciate it and then it was also starting social media and that outlet of like mid sized fashion and like being like Oh! Other people relate to this, and I'm not alone. So, it was, I would say those were the two, like, biggest pivots of my self love journey and, like, really, like, loving myself for who I am and, like, getting to where I am today were those two big moments. I think that's so important, too, because we do go through different Times in our life different chapters different things happen Like the one thing that's always going to be true is that there's always going to be change We are always going to be changing the world around us is always going to be changing And the people around us are always going to be changing. There's always Always going to be changed. That is a definite, that is 1000 percent something that's going to happen and we have to make the choice to love ourselves and our bodies and everything, you know, everything on the outside, everything on the inside, everything in between like throughout that journey. I think even for me, same, same thing. Like I always look back at who I was before different times in my life and I'm like, why can't I be like her? Why can't I be like her? And I'm like, Right now, over the past couple of years, I've gained quite a bit of weight. And I have to remind myself, I'm like, this is a chapter right now. Yes, exactly. This is what my body needs right now. I almost look at it as like, right now, my body needs me to focus on other aspects, other pieces. I almost look at it as like, it's keeping me safe and that's why, and that's really what. If we go into it like a spiritual way, if we go into it like a scientific way, like our bodies at the end of the day just want to keep us safe. So, yes, that's so true. They are safe space. And I feel like that's exact, that's actually the perfect way to put it. Yeah. And I feel like that's exactly how I feel with my body now. And I don't like punish it and I don't look at it in every way. I'm like, this is my safe place. It's like, I'm doing this for a reason. This is happening for a reason. Like, and some people don't look at things like that, but, I feel like it's a good mindset to have. Yeah, 100%. And I think that that's what was happening with me. Like my body was just trying to keep me safe for the past couple of years because there are so many outside factors going on. And I had to focus just like keeping, keeping my body. Like my, I think my, my body just had gained a lot of weight for so many different reasons, but I think. Mainly, the focus wasn't on the physical body that I had, like, not the, the, not the vessel. It was more about, like, what was going inside the vessel that needed time to heal. So in order to, like, make room for it, my body was like, let me protect you. With all of this. And like, of course we just, we don't look at things like that. We're, and I think it's, we don't look at things like that because that's not what quote unquote society sees as beautiful. So we're not looking at it in this, in this positive light. I do think at the day, it's okay to want to lose weight, to change something. It is totally okay. And it's totally within the Our control to be able to do that or to be a better version of ourselves. But I, but I also think at the same time, if you want to make that change, or you want to be a better version of yourself, you also have to recognize and be self aware of all of the different parts of yourself and love who you are now, because if you want to lose weight, cause you think you're going to lose, you're going to love yourself then. But you're not going to love yourself now at the higher weight. It's, it's just, it's not going to happen. No. And it's all like, it's all like, um, your, your thoughts, the way like you think, and it's the way you look at things and your perspective, it's all about perspective, your mental health and perspective. Like you can lose the weight, but like, if you haven't done the inner work, you're not going to actually. Appreciate it in the way you think you're probably still gonna think like oh I need to do more and more and more and I actually used to fall into that a lot And I was just like, oh if I lose like 20 pounds, like people are gonna like compliment me more They're gonna say nice things to me more. Like i'm actually gonna like look Beautiful. And then I, I did lose a bit of weight and then I was like, wait, but I still don't like myself. Yeah. And people, people aren't saying anything to me where if they are, it's like, oh, you look amazing. Like you've lost like so much weight. Like you look so good. And then I feel like, I feel like that's okay to say sometimes, but also in a way like it can like. With the certain, with a certain person, it can make them think it can feed into it and it depends like what they're going through. So I feel like you do have to be like a little bit careful with that sometimes. Um, so I feel like that's always been an interesting part to it as well, but yeah, you definitely have to do the inner work to even be able to do the physical work. And then have those results. Cause it's not, you have to do two and two. It's not one in one. Yeah. They're not separate. No, no, it's all like interrelated always always always always will be yeah, I think if anybody has ever Lost weight before or gained weight Whatever their goals were have if they've ever met a goal before that they were trying whether it has to do with their physical body Or something else and they thought that by the time By the time, or if they met that goal, they would love themselves more. They probably had a shocking realization that that's not actually what happens when you've met that goal. Yeah. Of yours, whatever it may be. If you don't actually love yourself prior to getting to that place. Yeah, absolutely. It's like how people say, like, in a relationship, it's like, You know, like they're like I want someone to make me feel better and all this stuff But it's like you have to love yourself first before you can like love another person. Yeah, and it's the same thing It's like hurt people can't help hurt people, you know, so like if you're really going through something It's like, you know, and your friend is also going through a really dark time It's like you guys can't really help each other because you haven't really like Found the way to help yourself and to heal yourself and and all of that So I feel like it's always a two way street Oh, yeah, I feel like that's how you kind of have to look at it sometimes Agreed 100. I think I always say because I actually have a tattoo. It's white So you really can't see it, but it's on my ring finger and it's a heart and the meaning behind it is Love yourself first, but I and I believe that but I also do believe thank you I also do believe that we can love other people while we Put ourselves first or love ourselves first. Absolutely. I, I think that the, the paradox or the Two things can be true at once. Essentially. It's just having the self awareness of who you are so that any flaws, any insecurities, anything that you're feeling doesn't get put onto that other person that you're also loving. Absolutely. It's totally about self awareness. I even find like in my own relationship, we, I mean, we're a team and we're a partnership and we're best friends and we love each other, but we put ourselves first in a lot of situations. We have a lot of independence and I feel like I've been with him since I was 15. So, so it's almost been about 10 years now. High school sweethearts. But, um, I, I found that, you know, like we always needed that independence. And I feel like the only reason we really got it was a cause of who we are, but also we went through some long distance, but it's like, I have my own life and I do my own things. And he has that for himself too. And I feel like with that, like we're able to love each other even more, to be honest. And like, we're aware of like what we need for ourselves and what person in your partnership needs for themselves too and having that understanding I think creates such a healthy relationship, healthy boundaries, and you're able to do what you love and be who you are without having to sacrifice anything but also not putting anything on the other person or creating like some sort of resentment just because you weren't understanding the things you needed or communicating those things to the other person. So I feel like, that goes with your relationship with yourself. So, I feel like that's totally self awareness is a huge, huge factor. For sure. I mean, we're in relationships, any type of relationships, like you're a team, but you're also two individuals. It takes two individuals to make a team. So it's so important, and you're not sharing the same glass. You both have separate glasses and the overflow is what goes to each other, not the fill, not the glass filled, you know, I, I also don't like like the saying where people are like, it's 50 50 in a relationship. I'm like, no, no, it's 100 and 100. And sometimes I'm going to be at 80 and you're going to be at 30 and vice versa. But. I'm giving 100 percent into this relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, like any one on one relationship that I have with anyone. It's. My glass is full because of what I'm doing to fill it. And then the overflow is what goes to you. And I'm charging my battery up to 100 percent and then anything past that goes to you. But at the end of the day, we're still individuals. We're just deciding to give the overflow to each other, to come together as, as a team. I think about, I don't even think this exists yet. We're like. Maybe it does, but when you put someone else's phone next to yours and it gives you a little bit of the charge. Oh, no, but they have that with, um, our airdrops. Like, if you put, like, your phone next to each other, it does this, like, little, like, Think about it. That's probably, like, exactly what you have in your mind. Yeah. They should do that for phones. They should. I feel like they might have, like, said something about it being a possibility, but Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Either way, it's, but that's, that's the idea is that, you know, we're filling ourselves up and then giving whatever is overflowing to the other person. But it's so important to remember that we're individuals first and then we're a team. Absolutely. I think that's huge. Always. Agreed. Agreed. So, I have a little, a little game, if you will. Sure! Um, I am actually launching a, a card deck. Oh! And it's called the Love Yourself More deck. Oh my gosh. And essentially, they are a bunch of questions that people have. Ask you to go deep, deeper, or deepest with yourself. Um, so they're kind of like journaling questions. There's 100 questions and, um, I haven't actually gone through the process of making the deck as of yet. But it's in the works, but I have the questions. Oh my gosh. That's so exciting. The list. I have the list. I have the questions. Um, yeah, thank you. So to close everything out before, um, before I ask you, well, I'm going to ask you a question, but you tell me what number between one and 100. Okay. You want me to ask? Let's say 20. 20. Okay. Yeah. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Obviously if I had this card deck, we would just pick one. Imagine I said 80. It's okay. I'll count backwards from the, from the last question. Oh my gosh, true. Oh, this is a good question. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, the idea of the card deck too, is that you kind of pick a card. I, I like the idea of picking a card Based on what you're in intuitively being pulled towards. Um, so it's kind of like, Hey, what are you feeling today? Are you feeling like you want to just go a little deep with yourself? Maybe somewhere in the middle or feeling like you really need a deep question. Yeah. Like a bit of therapy. Exactly. Exactly. So the question is, what would you do if you had the confidence to do it? Oh my gosh. Conquer the world. I like, I like do so many things. There's so many things I could say. I think, if I had the confidence, I would honestly push myself more. I love doing what I do and sometimes I feel like, I don't consider the worth that I have to put myself out there more, whether it's working with brands or in my, in my separate career, um, just like believing in myself a little bit more. I feel like I would just reach out even furthest to what I already do, but it's like, how do I also do that? You know, it's still like figuring that out. Um, but honestly, like, I think in a personal perspective, if I had the confidence. I honestly would love to have a family sometime soon. Um, and I just don't feel like I'm there yet with it, but like emotionally I do, I guess. But, um, I still feel like I'm in the works of like getting to that point and having that confidence to be like, okay, let's make the decision, you know, cause it's such like a huge thing to me. But if I had the confidence, I'd be like, okay, let's start. Yeah. But I guess like in what I do with, um, With content and in my career, I guess it would just be to like push myself more to give more of my effort into it. I feel like even right now I'm in a state of like really being in my head with everything. So I feel like I, I would just try and encourage myself more to go further out and reach on the shoot for the stars. And not, and not doubt myself and get in my head and just be like, I am worth it and I can do it. So I feel like just like learning to practice that more. That's what I would do with my confidence. You are worth it and you can do it. Thank you. So can you. Thanks. I think that's something that I go through so much too where I'm just so in my head especially when it's something I don't know. Yeah, like I don't know how to do it. I don't know where the right place is to start I also don't want to waste my time But it's it's never a waste of time And you can start anywhere because you get to choose whether you go forward or have to go back because you missed a step Like yeah, it's possible You're capable and you could do it and the crazy the crazy ones Are usually the craziest ones to believe that we can make it happen are the ones that make it happen Truly, I know that's so true. And I feel like it's just always having to remind myself of that. Yes So yeah, I would say that's definitely what I would do if I had the confidence I would push myself up more But I should just I should just do it, and then I'll get the confidence. Exactly. You should just do it, and then the confidence will just flow right into you. Totally, and honestly, like, that's how I felt, like, any of my confidence has ever come to me, is just by, like, doing it, and not waiting for the confidence to come first. So, I think I just need to stop. Rip the band aid off. Yep, exactly. Is there anything that you would tell someone listening to this podcast episode that is struggling to love themselves or struggling to find love for themselves in this chapter in their life right now? I would say be patient and kind. I think, I think when you are so eager to achieve something, whether it's loving yourself or, you know, getting to a place in your career, I think you have to put in the work and be patient with that journey. I think it's not a straight line and it might never be, Be a straight line. I find like even myself today, like I do, I'm not perfect about it. I have days where I'm not feeling too hot. I have days where I sometimes compare. I I'm not as bad as I used to be and that I can appreciate. I'm like in such a better place, but it took a lot of patience and it took a lot of learning curves and understanding and just being kind to myself and being gentle to myself. And I think that's, those are. Qualities I wish I had when I was younger, but I feel like it's all a journey for a reason, and I feel like life has so many lessons, and we can be angry at those lessons sometimes, and we can be frustrated with those sometimes, but you have to look at it with, I guess, a little bit of understanding and grace of like, I had to go through this to get to where I am and because of that, I feel so confident, and I love myself, and Truly, that's how I feel now. But yeah, just being patient and kind and, and looking at things with, you know, a bit more of a positive perspective, even when things feel really rough and also communicating to people how you feel and surrounding yourself with the right, the right people online and also in your life, you know, so I think that's, those are huge and finding the right outlet. You need, everyone needs an outlet. Oh yeah. But you're, you're reading, you're journaling. You're exercising, you're dancing, you're doing art, finding that outlet to not always have your mind consumed of like loving your body. I feel like, cause it can get a lot. So yeah, having an outlet too, I would think is, is a big thing, but it's all not a straight line. So yeah, have the patience that you'll get there. Everybody does. I love that. Thank you so much, Jade, for being here. I appreciate you to the moon and back. Please tell everybody where they can find you, where they can follow you so that they can continue to follow your self love journey. Of course, um, you can find me on TikTok at jadelegacy and you can find me on Instagram at jade underscore legacy. Perfect. Perfect. Thank you so much again. I appreciate you to the moon and back. Thank you for having me. This was so much fun and so refreshing. You're just such a beautiful spirit. Thank you for having me. This is so kind of like a bit of therapy too. I love it. I was like, I feel healed for the week. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much. I appreciate you to the moon and back. Really? I don't know how many times I can say that. I adore you and all the best with your event. I can't wait to see all about it. Thank you. Thank you. It's going to be so fun. Well, thank you Jade so much. And thank you guys for tuning in. And. We will see you. Well, maybe we'll have, we will have Jade back on again and follow up with you and see how everything's going. But we'll be back, um, not this Sunday, next Sunday. Episodes go up bi weekly, every single Sunday at 12 o'clock Eastern Time. Um, I'll see you guys soon! Bye! Yay!