finding gratitude in who we are + what we have, why being crazy is actually a good thing

why do we always look at ourselves for what we lack, and others for what they have? and are you crazy enough to believe in yourself?

in today’s episode, i’ve been genuinely giving myself this pep talk and felt like you might need to hear it too. 

i’m so excited to invite you to bloom: an immersive self-love experience at the jersey shore, thursday, september 5th, 2024. there will be fun pop ups, photo opps, a curated shop, food + drinks, goodie bags, and so much more. with the help of our local sponsors + brands you know and love, i hope that you can join us and give yourself a day you deserve- a day of loving yourself more. 

save $20 by purchasing a presale tickets, available until 7.30

and save an additional $10 with the special code i shared in today’s episode

you can buy tickets here

i can't wait to bloom together xoxo

connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia

unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives

sign up for the self-love archives newsletter: www.theselflovearchives.com

Transcript

Julia Salvia: 0:00

Thursday, September 5th, I am hosting the very first immersive self love experience here at the Jersey Shore. And I'm inviting you to come. If you are listening to this podcast, you are super duper uber lucky because I am giving you 10 off of this ticket. And if you are listening to this podcast, anywhere you're listening, before July 30th, you're going to save. Listen until the end of today's episode for the special code that you can enter at checkout. The link to purchase is in the show notes, the description, all of that good stuff down below. So make sure to check out my self love event, Bloom, coming soon. Welcome back to the Self Love Archives podcast. I am your host, Julia Salvia, and I am so excited for you to be here. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you to the moon and back. Today's episode is going to be a short one, because I need to save my energy for all of the really fucking exciting things coming up in August and September. But honestly, it is also very hard to talk to yourself. The next couple of episodes, I'm going to have some really, really amazing guests on the podcast. And I'm so excited to have the opportunity to share their self love journey here on this podcast, but most especially with you. So make sure you are following wherever you usually listen and get excited because I'm excited. I'm also nervous. It definitely is nerve wracking. Because I just want it to be good, you know? I am also in the midst of planning my self love event, Bloom. Which I'm going to give you a lot more information and talk to you all about it at the end of this episode. Because I need to share how special this event really is with you. And of course, share that coupon code with you. Isn't it crazy? That we think our bodies are so abnormal. When everything that we think is abnormal, we can find in nature. Have you ever seen those videos where people show you their stretch marks, and then they show you the roots of a tree? Or someone shows you the wrinkles on their face, and then they And then the wrinkles in a fruit. It's so crazy that every time we look in the mirror, we're looking for something that's wrong with who we are. We're looking for another gray hair on our head, a wrinkle on our face, a stretch mark on our thigh, a freckle that wasn't there yesterday, a roll, a crevice, a change. In our natural bodies as humans. But what's even more interesting is that we really only do that to ourselves. We don't look at someone walking down the street and be like, Oh, look at their gray hair. Oh, look at their stretch marks. When we look at other people, we look at them in envy of what they have. Or we look at them for the beauty that they exude. We look at them for what they have. Whereas we look at ourselves for what we lack. And what if we changed that? What if when we looked in the mirror, rather than trying to find something that is wrong, something that is abnormal, something that we wouldn't want to see, we look at ourselves for who we are. All encompassing the things that we want to see and the things that maybe we don't love right now. We look at ourselves for just who we are. Maybe we point out all of the things that we already love about ourselves, how our hair has a bit of shine in it today, or how we love how our eye color glistens with the shirt that we put on. Or the way that our lips are shaped, our hips are curved, and how cute that roll is on our stomach. What if you looked at yourself in the mirror differently? This topic stems way beyond just looking at ourselves in the mirror and picking apart what we don't have, or what we wish we had, or what we lack. We do this in everyday life. Like, the money that we don't have. The people that we don't have. The things that we don't have. And if we are constantly in this place of lack, how can we ever get to that place of an overflowing cup if we don't think that we have anything at all? The thing is, there will always be something. That you don't have. Something that isn't good enough. Someone out there that has more than you. Someone out there that you think has everything that you want. But there will always be someone who is having a worse day, if not the worst day of their life. There will always be someone that has less. And there will always be moments in your life where you didn't have as much as you have today. It's almost pointless to always worry about your lack, to always compare yourself to what you think other people have. It's a constant competition that you're creating with other people. It's that constant comparison of your life, your physicalities, internally, externally. The things that you physically have, the money that you make, the job that you have, the way that you look. It's a constant comparison to everyone else around you. And what is comparison? Comparison is the thief of joy. The more that we compare to other people because of our lack, the more we are stealing the joy away from ourselves, the more we are not recognizing. Or putting out gratitude into this world for what we do have this same thought This same way of thinking is similar to that that rush of waiting till we get somewhere in order to Enjoy happiness or in order to be happy in order to be happy. I need to You be married by this age, have kids at this age, reach this amount of money, have this amount of money in my bank account, to have this, have that until I can enjoy my life. This thought of lack doesn't allow room for happiness. Look around you and look at what you do have. Put out gratitude. to the things that you have around you. Because look at what you have. Look at who you are. Look at the things that you do have, not the things that you don't. I came across, oh, oh no, I'm going to, oh my God. You have to be joking. This is one of those numeral moments where you didn't even realize that you did something. You know when you look at the clock and it says, you know, 2 2 2 or something like that? I did not even realize that I screenshotted this at 2 2 2 today before I filmed this episode. Can you see right there? That's crazy. I wanted to read this Facebook post, haha, on Facebook. I find that so funny. But I guess Facebook is starting to feed me some really cool things. Remember, the content that you consume is in your control. And I love it. I want to read this to you because this is just such a good description. Let me read it. We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and will be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they're out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our partner gets his or her act together. When we get a nicer car, we'll be able to go on a nice holiday when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. So if not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. A quote comes from Alfred D. Zuse. He said, For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin. Real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be gotten through first. Some unfinished business. Time still to be served. Or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you've shared it with someone special. Special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one. So stop waiting until you lose ten pounds, Until you gain ten pounds, Until you have kids, Until your kids leave the house, Until you start work, Until you retire, Until you get married, Until you get divorced, Until Friday night, Until Sunday morning, Until you get a new car or home, Until your car or home is paid off, Until spring, Until summer, Until winter, Until your song comes on, Until Until you've had a drink. There's no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. A little chooky at the end there, but Everything else I really loved. I mean I say the same thing about self love. Self love is a journey. It's not a destination. You have to enjoy the journey Because the journey is your life what you're in right now, the obstacles, the things that you think that you lack, the things that you have You All of the facets of your life right now is your life. That is part of the journey. That is the journey. So why not see it for what it is now? Why not see yourself for who you are now? There is no better time to love yourself. Cause if you don't love yourself now, then when are you going to love yourself? You have the opportunity to make a choice right now to give yourself the love that you have always deserved. So why not give yourself the love you deserve? Why not give yourself the happiness you deserve? Why not give yourself the appreciation, the gratitude, and the kindness that you deserve? I screenshotted that at 2 2 2, and the number one person I think about whenever I think about if not now, then when, is my dad. My dad passed away October 22nd, 2022, which is why lots of twos mean a lot, because his birthday is also 12 22, and, um, I don't know if I can answer for him. But I can only assume. And yes, I know sometimes assumptions make an ass out of me. And if it makes an ass out of me, it makes an ass out of me. But I think it's an educated assumption. And from just connecting with my dad now that he has passed, I think that he wished he didn't wait. I think. That he wished he could have seen the world. That he could have gone and, that he could have gone to do all of the things that he wanted to do. He had this dream of owning a farm in the middle of nowhere, Montana. And I hope, I hope to fulfill that dream for him one day. I know nothing about Montana. I know nothing about horses. He specifically said he wanted horses. I've never even been to Montana. But I hope to fulfill that dream for him one day. And I hope to do everything that he never got the chance to do. The quote, if not now, then when, is The lesson that you really learn when you experience grief at the level of losing someone so close to you. And some of us want to swallow it and leave it there. We don't want to recognize that we only have so much time here. Cause you're born, you live life, and then you die. And that's something that we cannot change, we cannot control, and it's like it is what it is. But why not make the time that you have on this earth worthwhile? Why worry about the things that you don't have when you can create a life of all the things that you do have, all of the things that you truly do have? Are all of the things, all of the facets, all of the, and all of the things that encompass who you are and all of what could be rather than worrying about what you don't have or comparing yourself to someone else or rushing to make life happen when life already happens for you if you let it. I didn't realize how much of an inspiration my dad was for my self love brand until I really got into having and running and creating my self love brand into what it is today and everything that it will be moving forward. Being crazy is actually a good thing. So, let me explain. Do I need to explain? Let me explain. If you are crazy enough to believe that you can make something happen, then you will make it happen. I have never really seen anyone that has a self love brand, at least not in the way that I am looking to build the self love archives and what I'm looking to build it into. And I'm crazy enough to think that the entire world will know about the Self Love Archives one day. They will know about the Self Love Archives one day. The quote, If Not Now Then When, has run its course through my life. Through all of the things that I have done, that I have started, that I have created. Especially everything that I have learned. done and started to create with the self love archives. It's whenever, whenever anyone asks me for advice on anything, I'm like, just do it. Sorry, Nike. Sorry to take your slogan, but like you're right. Just do it. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to, it doesn't matter if you don't have the knowledge or don't know where to start. Just start, just do something. Because if not now, then when? Time is only gonna keep going. Tomorrow is on its way. A week from now is gonna be here before you know it. Next month, next year, ten years go by and all of a sudden you look back and you're like, Why haven't What? If not now, then when? And are you crazy enough to believe that you can do something, that you are capable, that you have the strength, the knowledge, the capacity to do everything and be everything that you want to do and be? Because I do. And yeah, please, some days, I, I'm like, fuck, what? Some days when I really let reality sit in and settle in, and I look in the mirror and I'm like, you're crazy. And like, not the good kind. You're, you're wild, you're crazy. Who on earth is going to listen to little old you? Who? is really gonna care. And if there's anything that I say to that girl on that day, cause that's the most important day, to have something to say, if you believe you can, then you will. I am not special. I'm special, but I'm not special. There is someone else that this is going to connect to. There is other people in this world. There are a lot of people in this world. There has to be, there is at least one person that can connect with your journey, your purpose, and what you want to share in the world. It's just finding them and getting to them and reaching them. That's the difficulty. But we always tend to start. With the lack. The lack of. Like, oh, there isn't someone else that has gone through something like this. Yes, there has. Maybe not on the same day, at the same time, in the exact place, in the same way. But there are so many similarities in your journey to other people's journeys. Whether that's their happiness journey, their self love journey. There are people out there That have experienced a similar journey to yours. People that can meet you on the level of depth that you meet yourself. There are people out there, but are you gonna be crazy enough to believe that there are? Because there are. And I am crazy enough to believe that, at the very least, 200 people can show up to an immersive self love experience that I am hosting at the Jersey Shore. You should see me on my walks with my, like, hands. Because my hands get really, like, puffy in the summertime when I'm walking. So I kind of have to do that, that, like, I call it like that mom move, whenever you see moms like doing speed walking like outside. And honestly for good reason, because my hands get really puffy, so they swell. So me, on my walk, with my hands up, and I'm just thinking to myself, like, how am I gonna get 200 people from Monmouth County, Ocean County, How am I going to get 200 people in general to come to this event at the Jersey Shore? And, um, I'm going to. You know why? Because in Monmouth County, New Jersey alone, there are 650, 000 people. Just Monmouth County, okay? New Jersey? I don't even know what that number is, but I can only imagine that it is like 20 times that, if not more. That means, let's say there's like six million people in New Jersey. I'm sure there's probably more or less or something. I don't know. If I got that right, go me. I just need 200. That's it. 200 people that connect and relate to self love in one way or another. 200 people that need a day for themselves. 200 people. That want to love themselves more. That's it. That's it. And when you change the perspective in which you look at something, it makes a world of a difference. Just like when you change the perspective of your lack versus what you actually have, having the gratefulness. of the things that you have. The way that that can change the trajectory of your day, of your week, of your month, of your year, of your next few years, is astronomical. And I figured that if I was struggling with trying to believe in myself, believe in my crazy, that 200 people are going to show up to this self love event at the Jersey Shore, That I'm sure that you might be struggling about something that you're so crazy about, too. If you listened to today's episode, I want to thank you so, so much. And if you are here and you have made it to the end, I am so incredibly excited to invite you to Bloom, a self love, immersive self love experience at the Jersey Shore, Thursday, September 5th from 4 to 9 p. m. It's a come when you want, stay for a while, and go, leave whenever you like to. But of course, hope you stay the whole time. Tickets are available on my website, theselflovearchives. com. The link, direct link, is in the description, show notes down below. So make sure to check that out. And as promised, the code to get an additional 10 off. So right now until July 30th, tickets are 20 off. And this code will get you an additional 10 off. if you purchase your ticket before July 30th. That code is SLA Podcast 10. The code is SLA Podcast 10. I hope that I see you at my event, Bloom, and at the very least, I hope I see you back here for the next episode. I love you to the moon and back, and I'll talk to you guys soon. Love yourself a little bit more this week. Okay? You promise? You promise? Okay, just making sure.