the self-love archives
welcome to the archive. it's time to love yourself more.
the self-love archives
body neutrality, size inclusivity, + setting boundaries with onewith swim founder, hayley segar
in this week's episode we dive into an amazing conversation with hayley segar, the founder of swimwear brand, onewith.
we talk about balancing self-love and self-care while being a business owner, making the right decisions for your mental health while trying to grow and become a successful business, as well as the important ethos behind onewith swim and body neutrality.
can't wait for you to hear this one!
you can shop onewith at www.onewithswim.com and keep up with all things on instagram @onewithswim
connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia
unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives
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Hi everyone. Welcome back to the self love archives podcast. I am so excited to be back with another episode. This one's super special because I have the, the wonderful, the one and only Hayley Segar. She is the founder of onewith and she is not just the founder of onewith, but she's a friend of mine and I'm so excited to have her on the podcast today. So I'm going to let her introduce herself and we're going to get right into the episode.
Hayley Segar:I'm so excited to be here, Julia. I've been binging your podcast and I just can't wait to be on and see what I can contribute to this community and share onewith with this community. So thank you for having me.
Julia Salvia:Thanks for being here. I really appreciate you. Of course. Of course.. So tell me all the things. Tell me about yourself, about onewith, how you got here.
Hayley Segar:Absolutely. Yeah. So I'm Haley. I'm the founder of onewith. We make patent pending women's swimsuits that fit like no show underwear. I am born and raised on the Connecticut shoreline. Um, and I, Came out with onewith in 2021, but I thought of the idea in 2019. So basically the way it happened was I was trying on a bunch of different swimsuits for a trip to Miami, hated them all. I literally said out loud, I just want a swimsuit that fits like my favorite no show underwear does. That was my light bulb moment. It hit me that if that didn't exist, I had to create it. So of course it did not exist. And I set out on a journey to bring it to life. And. It's been pretty incredible. We went viral for the first time, not long after we launched, um, which I kind of have you to thank for, by the way, which we'll get to in a second, because you were the one that was like, Haley, you need to get on onewith, or you need to get onewith on TikTok. And I was like, I don't want to do that. Please don't make me. And you were like, I think you're going to regret it if you don't. And, yeah, so you are definitely in part to thank for at least urging me to do it. Like make a onewith account and start posting. So thank you for that. I appreciate it. Of course. I'm so glad. But yeah, so that was kind of how we got our start was like going viral for the first time. And then we've had several sort of viral pops, since then. And it's really just been people connecting with the ethos of swimsuits that fit like no show underwear that don't dig or squeeze or compress or try to morph your body into anything that it isn't. So that is something that has really resonated with people. We've always been size inclusive since we launched. It's, it's really great to be a founder, obviously a lot of hard work and, you know, I've gone on a pretty major, like self development journey since just starting onewith, which is why content like your podcast resonates so deeply with me and I'm just really excited to be here again. So thank you for having me.
Julia Salvia:Of course. Thank you. I feel so special. Like, I'm like just a little blip and like this big journey of yours. And that makes me so proud of you, but also so happy to like contribute. I remember I was like, I do remember that conversation. I was like, girl, I know it's very overwhelming. Like social media is overwhelming in general, but you got to get on TikTok. So I'm happy you did.
Hayley Segar:I did. And you can go back to other podcasts I've done. I have specifically named dropped you. I've been like, my friend Julia told me that I need to do this. Like literally. So, yeah. And honestly, it was, to me, it was, it was kind of an act of self love to refrain from being on Tik TOK because I saw, to be honest with you, like what the culture was like on Tik TOK and I didn't like it. I thought it was very toxic. And, um, so I kind of, you know, abstained from joining right away, sort of waited to get my footing with onewith, and then, you know, went on and went all in, um, but I still have really firm. boundaries with TikTok, like very firm boundaries with TikTok that I just don't wish to cross, but it, it has been such a big, you know, springboard for, for my business, which I'm really grateful for.
Julia Salvia:It's, it's funny you mentioned that because that's one of my questions for you. It's really kind of getting into that virality. So I think a lot of people get super excited over virality and it's just, I don't personally think that it's something to get so gung ho excited about because it really can just, it's like, it brings your content to so many different types of pages, and it's sometimes hard to, pinpoint or pick out, okay, all of these people that are here, like half of these people that are here from this video going viral are the people that I want. This is the market I want to reach. These are the people I'm trying to, to talk to, to speak to. But the other half is like, really hating on what I'm trying to do. I think it's, it's, It's definitely a moment where you need to kind of go inward and reflect and really take yourself out of it and know that. It's almost like, you know how people say with social media, like, if you're getting hate, that means you're doing something right. You're just like, how? All these people do not agree with that statement. They're like, they really hate what I'm doing. Yeah. And you're just cursing the platform because you're just like, why are you giving, why are you showing this video to people who don't want to see this? Yes.
Hayley Segar:Yeah. And that's a very real thing. And again, yeah, do I think like, You know what you sign up for when you try to make or make a viral video, if you will? Yeah, of course. But again, are there things you can do, like you said, to kind of take yourself out of it or just lessen the impact that this video being shown to the masses has? Of course, and that's where I think like You know making conscious decisions for for yourself is so important I
Julia Salvia:really like respect and like appreciate your boundaries so much with it, too. I know we had a conversation um, I think a while back when we were talking about like that initial virality of onewith And how you ended up turning off the comments and I was like, I don't agree with it from like a business perspective To do that, but if it if it's hurting your mental health To the point where you can't look at these comments and or you're focusing so much Or anyone saying you like is anybody like focusing so much on like the not so good comments where it's affecting your your own mental health personally or as a business owner or It's just affecting the way that you work or connect with the audience that you actually want to have Yeah, then I think that that boundary that decision is just Such a good one.
Hayley Segar:Totally. And, and you're not the only one that told me it was ill advised to obviously shut them off., I shut them off in February of 2022 and they've never come back on and it's, we're recording this May, 2024. So that's kind of crazy. But yeah, it was, , it was, it was part logistical, like genuinely it was logistical. I actually, I didn't just. And let it be known when the comments got shut off, it wasn't just shutting off the comments. I also privated the account. Because we were getting more orders and we could keep up with like, I was genuinely concerned that we were reaching this. This sounds wild. But again, we were so much smaller. We're reaching too wide of an audience, and we did not have the infrastructure to support this volume. So I literally it wasn't just the comments going off. I also did private the account and I forget if I've said I don't think I've said that before. Like, it wasn't just a shut off of the comments. It was a unilateral like closing this channel. So that we can keep up and yeah, and then when it came time to, you know, I like I'm probably did the account, the comments stayed off and then I'd be like, Oh, you know, I'll turn them back on. Um, and then again, it was just like, I saw some stuff I just didn't, I didn't love. And honestly, now that, you know, we've had, we've been at market for longer and our Instagram comments have always been on, like, I know. I know what it is and I know, you know, what we get. We, we get an overwhelming positive response on Instagram. TikTok was just like a different beast for us and, and that's why ultimately I decided, like, I think our, our demo is more on Instagram than TikTok, if that makes sense. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So that's why, like, that's why I wasn't so, , averse to Shutting them off and keeping them off there. Because again, I was like, Oh, I think our people are more on Instagram, if that makes sense.
Julia Salvia:Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. Um, and I do remember talking about how you privated the account because it was just like an overwhelming amount of people. And honestly, I commend you for doing that. Cause I would just be like, uh, cause you know, it's what happened was such a good problem to have, but to pivot and make that decision was probably such a tough decision. Cause you're like, I don't want to. You're probably thinking in your head, like, I don't want to close anybody out from purchasing onewith, because you want, especially as like a newer brand at the time, you want that traction. You want there to be. Sales and you want people to connect with onewith. Yeah. So to really focus on the people who were already there.
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm., I
Speaker 2:feel like was such a good move in regards to like, kind of like shutting everything down in a way to really focus and prioritize the people that you already did kind of reel in
Hayley Segar:exact. Exactly, exactly. You said it. I need to like bottle up what you just said, . , it was perfect, but yeah, no, that's exactly what we did. And again, it was just kind of a realization to serve the people that, like you said, we had, we had captured at that point.
Julia Salvia:Yeah. And I love that so much. So are there any other boundaries that were on this topic? Are there any other boundaries with yourself as like a founder and as a woman that you've set in regards to work and your career in general, including of course, running a business that would. I think all boundaries help us with our own self love. So any boundaries at all in that way?
Hayley Segar:Julia, so many.
Julia Salvia:You're like, here's my
Hayley Segar:list. And it's like, I don't mean to be that guy who, who exhausts the term boundaries or uses it lightly. I can't express enough how radically different of a person I am than from when I started onewith. Because of rules. Like I always say every time I go through Some sort of like breakthrough moment, whether that's going viral, whether that's like an actual breakdown, like whether I'm, I'm way overwhelmed. I come out, what I always say is like, I come out of that with like a new constitution for how I'm doing things. Right. I come out with a new set of rules that I'm implementing. So multiply a new set of rules by, you know, basically five years now of working on this business. And. You get a completely changed person. So, so to answer your question, yes, there's, there's so much. And I think like in terms of, from like a self love perspective, I had to, I reached a point in, in like spring of 2022 where I was so overwhelmed and felt so at the mercy of everyone around me. And I actually hired a productivity coach, so I can't really take credit for. Coming up with these systems, you know, I, I did work with someone to help me do this, but basically I realized certain things about the way that my body performed during the day and my mind performed during the day and I was giving, I was everywhere for everyone doing everything, to like serving nobody basically, and so overwhelmed. And I. Was not on top of my myself. I had gained 40 pounds in six weeks 40 pounds in six weeks It was out of control. I was completely out of control like I was spiraling and so basically I went to this productivity coach and She was like, okay. We need to just go back to the drawing board here. When do you feel your best? Just like asking me all these questions and essentially what the net net is is like I have a dedicated time in the morning for my morning routine I do not let anything in before that time, that cut, that cutoff time. I only do my calls between X and X time, right? Anything after that is like, if someone requests something after a certain time window, can't do it, we'll have to go to the next day or whatever, you know, my next availability is in that time slot. There's, there's just so many things. I really can only handle doing two big things a week. Like. Whether that's two shoots, whether that's like a major event, whatever that is. Otherwise I run myself into the ground with the amount of output that onewith takes just on like a maintenance level from me. So there's so much I could say there, but those are just like quick little things that I've implemented that were really big in restructuring and, and putting new boundaries in place for the way that I schedule myself out.
Julia Salvia:I completely agree with you. I feel like that's always. When there's big life changes that happen in my life, like for me, that was definitely last year when my dad passed away. And then when I moved and just all of these huge things, like these huge, um, environment shifts happened for me. Like I had to completely, and that's what I feel like I've been doing for the past year and a half ever since really being in this new space. It's like, how can I. Switch up my routines and where can I set better boundaries? I think we're always, as people stuck in this, you know, this is the way that we're supposed to do it, whether it's just the way that we've always learned how to do it or whether it's just the way that we think we're supposed to do it when it's, it doesn't have to be that way. Like I, I know in my head, my parents would always get so annoyed that I slept Really late and my dad, I just have my dad in my head. Like I get up at 4 30 in the morning to go to work and I got to, I drive there and I got to be somewhere. And I'm just like, but that doesn't work for me. Right. I, I kind of went inward and I really listened to myself in probably the same way that you did in these moments where, okay, when do I really feel my best in the morning? And what am I doing when I feel my best? What time is it? Yes, and what am I actually doing during that time and for me the like sweet spot of like when to get up Is between 7 and 8 a. m Anything earlier i'm just it's not a good day for julia Anything later? It's also not a really great day for me I'm, just not I don't feel productive if I wake up after eight o'clock
Hayley Segar:same thing with all these little things You Yes, no, I'm, I'm totally with you. And I think to your point in terms of kind of there being an inner density of not seeing alternative ways of doing things like, Oh, it just has to be this way or, Oh, it is that way. Right. That's where I do think, you know, whether it's, you know, you having the ability to step out for a second and look at your life from like an objective perspective and say, okay, maybe I could, maybe it could set a window to sleep up or to sleep To, you know, whatever that is, or, um, I personally struggle with that sometimes because I can be very, very dense. So me having people like, again, a productivity coach or a mindset coach be like, okay, well, why do you do that? And like, make me explain why I do that. And they're like, Hmm, that doesn't sound like you have to do that. Like that is very valuable for me. And I'm like, but I have to, you know what I mean? And it's like, do you know, you know? So. So there's a lot, I think, of value in outsourcing the ability to look at your schedule or your routine or your habits or whatever that is. But again, I also think a lot of people aren't capable of doing that themselves. I just, I just struggle with conjuring that up within me, if that makes sense. Yeah,
Julia Salvia:no, of course that makes sense. I think sometimes, We could even go as far to say, like, there are certain people that could be more helpful for some people versus others. Like, , I love always mentioning that I have a girl that comes and cleans my house. She only comes once a month, and it is the best day of my life when she comes because she saves me probably, like, a week's worth of cleaning. Yes. Because I'd have to fit it into my schedule and figure it out. So would I rather Spend the 200 on her to come clean my whole entire house for one day, or would I want to waste the time that I have to work on myself, my business, um, and, you know, actually give myself that time, maybe like in the morning and, and give myself, you know, free, free up some time for myself. What's
Hayley Segar:more worthwhile? Absolutely. Well, and, and you also have to look at it too, as like an opportunity cost situation. Will it cost you more, Julia? To spend a week cleaning your house in opportunity, in productivity. The answer is yeah, you spending that 200 is something that will ROI. Like you will see a return on investment from that because you are more free to do things that make money, make time, make, you know, things that you want to do. I'm the thing that I, by far spend the most money on is my time, things to outsource my time. And that is the best possible gift that I can give myself at this juncture of my life. And I'm sure you're in a similar situation, but yeah. Outsourcing my time, if you will, if we can call it that is such an amazing investment in yourself. 100%.
Julia Salvia:And I think if we can listen to ourselves or hire someone that can help us listen to ourselves, whatever that ends up being like a psychic, I say, if we don't, if you believe in it, Great. If you don't, yes, fine. But if something is going to help you, why not be open to that? You know, it's, it's such a big thing. Like, why not be open to something that could potentially help you? So if we can listen to ourselves or hire that person to help us listen to ourselves, I think that saving time here, being more productive there, or making sure that we are working out like our daily. Schedules or our weekly schedules or monthly schedules to an extent where we're actually putting in the time to care for ourselves in regards to self care, doing what we have to do for whatever, you know, if we own our own business or if we have a career, a nine to five, whatever it may be, um, building relationships and connecting with people that we care about friends, family, significant others, whatever it may, whatever the case may be. And we can be able to better. Productively set up our schedule and our day to day. I think that we can, at the end of the day, we end up loving ourselves more. I can't tell you how much more productive I am and how much more, how much more I connect with people just because I meditate every morning for like 10 minutes.
Hayley Segar:Yes. And like, that's it. Yes. No, it doesn't. It's. I think the thing with meditation too is people think it needs to be this whole ritualed light candles thing and it is like it can be it can be whatever you want and that's the thing you know like there are I think there's some people who will like do meditation also can I just say one thing I'm very jealous of and I'm listening to your podcast also to like help me with this you don't use the term like at all and I overuse it like crazy so I feel like I do you don't You you don't you're so good julia, I can't but I
Speaker 2:also I also I have to be transparent I might also edit the likes out
Hayley Segar:Like It is flawless. It is amazing. I cannot tell. Um, sorry. I just had to say that I had to see that in here uh, and again here I go saying um, and i'll be like and um, like So I also know there are people who will meditate in the morning when they wake up, like first thing that they do is meditate. In their bed. That's you. That's you. Not in my bed.
Speaker 2:Not in my bed. No. I actually will come to I'll come in here. There's a chair over here. Okay, you can see it, but there's a chair over here. I'll sit in that chair and that's kind of like my meditation journal chair. There's a lot of what really works well for me in regards to the productivity and like the success of like my day, And that makes me feel much more, I feel like I'm talking very be productive, but this is like, how, how can I love myself more throughout the whole day in this productive way? I stack a lot of my, I guess, to dues against each other. So in the morning it's like a very rigid routine and, and it sounds like kind of boring, but it really just sets up my whole day for it to be such a great day. Like. It is wake up, do my skincare, brush my teeth, change my clothes, sit in this chair, meditate for 10 minutes or so, um, journal. And then I stretch for like five minutes cause I have horrible, horrible posture, but that's a whole nother story. And then I eat breakfast and I will go and work out most days. And that is how my schedule is really worked. And it's kind of like stacking all of those. together. And one, because I think you're more likely to do them when you stack them like that. If you're like my skincare routine, I don't think I've missed, I miss a skincare routine and I'm talking both my morning and night skincare routine twice a year. And that's only a thing. Thank you. That's only because I fall asleep. Like if I fell asleep. Okay. Fair enough. But like the morning one, I don't miss, I don't ever miss it and it's just so ingrained in me. So if I can stack other things against this one piece of my day or this one habit that's so ingrained in me, um, I feel like it's more likely that they're going to happen versus me just that in the middle of the day at one o'clock, like you got to go do this. I'm like, eh, it's going to stick more if I do it. By stacking it against something that I'm already that's already a habit. That's already a routine
Hayley Segar:Completely. Um, that's that's also how I do my morning routine. I think that that is If you have like a midday routine, you're doing something wrong. I'm just kidding, but There's no way that that's effective like there's just not I think the morning sets you up for success I think habit stacking is a very real thing. I personally meditate while doing my dr jenna's gross What a good idea! I need to get one of those. You do? Yeah. Also, Julia, I have my acupressure mat on my back. So I'm laying down, meditating, meditation music on Dr. Dennis Grossmaster. Yes! And it's timed, three minute intervals, so you can like time how long you've been sitting there for. It's amazing. It's perfect. The mask, I mean. I
Julia Salvia:love this. I'm about to go get myself an acupressure mat and the Dr. Dennis Gross mask, red light mask. It's
Hayley Segar:so good. It's so good. But no, I'm, we're totally on the same page and if I have to sacrifice part of my morning routine, I'm basically giving up a chance, a small portion of chance of success that my day is going to go well. Like I have to do my morning routine.
Julia Salvia:It's just like, I think having a really good morning routine, you're setting the intention for the rest of the day. You're setting this intention for what's coming up, and I think that's what's so important about it. It's like, in the morning routine, you're setting the intention, and for the night routine, which I honestly struggle with a lot, um, it's like you're kind of closing out the day. And I think the reason why I can't close out my day is because I'm just like, my brain's still going, one thing after the next, I'm trying to finish something. I'm trying. So we're working on that, but I've got the morning routine down.
Hayley Segar:We're going to have to share our nighttime routine tips. Yeah, because morning, morning was easy for me, but the night is still something I'm, I'm trying to figure out. And I feel like, you know, possibility is exciting. Whatever we figure out will be great whenever we do figure it out. But until then we are figuring it out, you know,
Julia Salvia:one step at a time.
Hayley Segar:Yes,
Julia Salvia:exactly. one step at a time Amazing. So on that, on that same subject, like what would you generally, not just as a business owner, what would you consider to be the biggest part of your self love journey?
Hayley Segar:Again, not to, not to be this guy, but setting boundaries.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Hayley Segar:and I actually have given a lot of thought and a lot of air time to this over the course of my life, but I consider myself to have been born with an immense amount of self love and self esteem and self confidence. It's never something I've struggled with. And I feel grateful for that. I've said from the jump, like literally from the time I was a adolescent, that I feel very grateful to have had that kind of baked in. But there have been times in my life where I have made incredibly self sabotaging decisions, routines, things that ultimately made me suffer. That I had to cut the shit with basically, you know, and In terms of getting to a place where I feel Really good as a founder and as a 28 year old woman now The thing that has been the most integral in that has been Literally restructuring the way that I look at life who's in my life How I move about life It's it's all so radically different and that then then in 2019 2020 So that I think is the biggest part of me being who I am and the level of self love that I have. Um, yeah, just, just getting so strict, you know, discipline is freedom as they say, and that is, I think, discipline has been and boundaries have been the biggest part of that for sure.
Julia Salvia:Sorry, I was smiling there as you were talking. I'm like, oh, that's your Scorpio moon. Yeah. I was like, and what was your, I remember, your rising sign was either Leo or Capricorn? Cap. Yeah, good memory. Yep. Right? Cap rising. And then
Hayley Segar:onewith was Leo? onewith is Sag. Sag rising, I believe, and might also be Sag moon, and then onewith is a Scorpio. onewith itself, Sun, is a Scorpio.
Julia Salvia:That's so interesting because I was like, Yeah, you're, I truly, I feel like, I remember your rising sign was like Capricorn or Leo and I can totally see why you already kind of had that, um, I would say like discipline in regards to like yourself instilled, like that responsibility is already there, that discipline is already there, like the foundational aspects of it, then you have your Scorpio moon coming in like, and it's just so deep and so inward and so, What do I gotta fix about myself?
Hayley Segar:Yeah.
Julia Salvia:What do I gotta change? And it's that constant, like, Like, it's really just in, like, it's just very in your self conscious, your sub subconscious.
Hayley Segar:Yes.
Julia Salvia:Essentially.
Hayley Segar:Yeah. So if I was Smiley, I don't know. No, no, I love it, and, and good memory, um, on, on my placements, if you will, but I'm, I have three things in my chart, literally, which is Libra, Cap, and Scorpio. That's my entire, um, It's my entire chart. Like, I don't have anything else. Well, you have,
Julia Salvia:you do have everything else. I, I do, but The heaviness is in those four. The
Hayley Segar:heaviness is in those three. Those three, yeah. Yeah, so, there's a lot of, like, you know, death and rebirth and, you know, just general self improvement slash critique. Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia:I, I gotta say, as much as the, as much as, like, Scorpio, The, um, Scorpio, the eighth house and Pluto. So all of those represent like that death and rebirth. Yes. And I, I hate to look at it that way because like when we hear like death and rebirth, we're just like, Oh, that doesn't sound too, that doesn't sound too hot.
Hayley Segar:Yeah.
Julia Salvia:That doesn't sound too exciting. Um, I like to look at it from it, look at it from a perspective of transformation. Cause that's literally what it is. We are just continuously transforming ourselves. From becoming, you know, kind of like killing off the old version and becoming a new. And I think that's what boundaries do for us.
Hayley Segar:Yes.
Julia Salvia:100%. Like boundaries are free, are freedom. Kind of like how discipline is freedom. Boundaries give you so much.
Hayley Segar:Yes. And, and no completely. And I should say, Julia, your term is better. Like transformation is, is a better term than death and rebirth. I feel like you hear death and rebirth so much in astrology that that's like, I'm regurgitating that. But transformation is. The better term to use, but, but yes, no, and, and that's why I'm like trying to get away more from the term boundary and really use the term like constitutions more because that's how it feels. Like I'm writing at all times, my inner constitution for how I move about the world and how I interact with people and how, how I interact with myself. And every time something new pops up where I'm like, Oh, that's going in there. That's a new rule that I have., it just helps me be freer and. Like, feel, feel better, you know, just generally feel better. So, yeah, I'm big
Julia Salvia:into that. Yeah, I think that's the basis of, like, what happens when we're in this space of, like, Alright, I don't love myself at all. Like, I don't feel good about myself. Which, I have to say, self love isn't, is not a noun. Maybe, maybe the dictionary, I'm not trying to, like, Start an argument with a dictionary, but I am because I don't think that self love is a noun. I really think that it is a verb, an adjective. I think that it's a, it's a process. It's a, um, it's a journey and it's a choice. Yes. And That self love umbrella has so many things under it. And the one thing that I talk about so much is boundaries. So I promise that you're not like pushing it so hard. I think it's so important, especially for people who are coming into life. I think a lot of people who don't particularly if they're what those people that are like, I don't love myself. Yeah. You brought a struggle with boundaries. I know I did.
Hayley Segar:I completely agree, Julia. And again, the times where in my life. I was, again, sabotaging myself the most, whatever, was when I had a total lack of protective bubble. You know what I'm saying? Like, that to me is everything. And to, to paint a picture of what I was like Well, there's not much I can say about what I was like before, if you will, but A physical manifestation of a lack of boundaries was the fact that pre, pre me, you know, kind of having this inner reckoning of, of what my inner constitution looks or feels like, whatever. I was, and I think this was also pre onewith in terms of me, not having this void filled, if you will. But for example, someone's having A baby shower. Someone's having, you know, a bridal shower. Someone's, you know, dog is turning two years old. I would somehow sign myself up to like go help with that party and like come up a day before and like drive to and from and pick shit up, you know, and and I remember I went to trade my car in and they were like, why 50, 000 miles a year on your car? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. And I looked at my schedule and it's like, oh, because I'm committing myself to be everywhere for everybody. For everybody. And there was no boundary. There was, I remember the first time I said no to going to someone's, like, bachelorette. Or some, like, bridal, like something like that, I don't even know. And it was like, earth shattering to me. Because I'm like, oh my god, I can do that. You know? Yeah, but, but like my car was suffering, my health was suffering, like everything around me was suffering because again, I also think a lot of it was this inner productivity void that I had of wanting to be helpful, wanting to be useful, wanting to make, wanting to build. And I didn't have onewith yet. So I was again, like seeing opportunities for like going and helping people with random stuff that I should have never even been asked to do. You know what I'm saying? Like them asking would have been a financial, mental, physical boundary to cross, but it's like, The fact that I just was signing myself up for all of that turned into a really big debit on my health, my finances, myself, my routine, my productivity, like what I could have been giving to onewith or my business had I had onewith at that time that I was giving to other people was crazy, crazy. And again, like it manifested in physical ways with my health, with my car, everything around me was getting, was suffering, you know? I
Julia Salvia:think it's important as women that we know that we can say no. Cause I had the same problem. I was, I was trying to be everywhere, doing everything, taking every opportunity, um, showing up for everyone. Um, and it was coming. I think that it was coming from a place of either FOMO of like really just scared of missing out on a potential opportunity or a potential. Um, moment to connect with someone. I didn't want it to ruin any relationships. And I think that just came from a really deep rooted, first of all, a deep rooted, I would say task or discipline that us as women are just supposed to say yes, are just supposed to drop everything. Yeah. Of, of, of drop everything that we're doing. Stop trying to fill our cup and go fill other people's cups to be just a giver, not a taker. Yeah. And so I think it was partially that and partially just the way that a lot of us are raised as women. But also that deep rooted fear in me of, okay, if I don't show up, what's going to happen? Yes. When nothing's going to happen. If, if, if, if anything does happen, the opportunity wasn't meant for you. Right. The friendship. Isn't valuable enough to get over that hump or for them to have any respect that you're just trying to take care of yourself. Yes. Or three, I think we're just coming, we're, the other side is really just coming from a place of like, Hey, you did all this other stuff for me, but why aren't you doing this? Yeah. That, that assumption that, You're just gonna keep allowing that person or that thing to continuously, like, step all over your lack of boundaries. Yes.
Hayley Segar:Yeah. They always say, like, the people that, the people that get mad at you for setting boundaries are the people who benefited from you having none in the first place or having a lack of boundaries. And that is true. That is
Julia Salvia:true.
Hayley Segar:It's so true. And also to your point, like we came up in the influencer space or content creation space at the basically exact same time. And that was, that was a major part of me, like putting the damn miles on my car. Like, Oh my God, this, this, this gallery in Greenwich asked me to come and take photos. And then people around me would be like, are you getting paid for that? And I'd be like, well, no, but it's a good opportunity. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, And this, oh wow, I wonder why I'm totally burnt out. You know what I'm saying? Like it's, it's yeah, it is a FOMO. It is like a wanting to be helpful. It is a way we were raised as women and just, there's so much that goes into it. But yeah, like I also think though, I would bet there's a lot of content creators that went through something really similar to what we did because of the constant stream of. When I say what we did, I mean like being like, Oh wait, I need to have boundaries. Like the, like a reckoning of sorts because of the constant stream of opportunities to meet people, go places, get free things, meet this brand. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think, I think it was information overload for a really long time. And I, I think that I've,
Julia Salvia:Gosh, I'm kind of right there with you with, like, the, like, I got a list of boundaries that I have set now and I definitely feel so much better, I feel so much more connected to myself, but in that, and I have the opportunity to actually, like, give more to myself, too, by setting the boundaries. But in regards to the influencer space and the creator space, I say no so much now. And I don't feel bad about it because I think by always saying yes, I've realized that a lot of the things were not worth my time. Yes, absolutely. I mean,
Hayley Segar:and that's such, that is such a hard thing to deal with, especially when you're someone who values your time so much, looking back. And being like, oh my gosh, I've, and you don't want to call it a waste of time because you learn, you know, but the amount of time I've given fruitlessly, if you will, it can be so unsettling, you know, and I don't want to be like negative about it because boundaries really are about creating freedom and stuff, but you have to, you have to see them for what they are and you have to get to that point of wanting to set them and understanding the, You know, kind of cause and effect of it all to really appreciate the benefits, if you will. For
Julia Salvia:sure. 100%. You know. I wanna switch gears a little bit over to, what you mentioned before about OneWidth and being size inclusive from the get go. It's been a topic like on my mind a lot because I've gained a lot of weight over the past year and year or two, especially where I've gone from kind of being in this place of being confident that I'm going to more, most likely fit into straight sizes, but be at the end. I've always been like towards the end of straight sizing. I've always been a large, I've always accepted. And I'm just used to that. The fact that like. This company, like this little boutique that you just walk into, like at the Jersey shore, I'm like, I know your pants aren't going to fit me. I've always had an ass and I'm really okay with having an ass over trying to fit into your pants. So I'm good. I've accepted that. I'm good with that. But I've always been able to get lucky or fit into like the tops or the sweatshirts. But since gaining weight, I have been, I'm way over that threshold now. And like, I cannot walk into a store. Any boutique or shop at any store that only sells straight sizes because it is more likely than not. I will not fit them So it's been an interesting Not I wouldn't say realization, but because i've always been on like the higher end i've always not fit average sizing um Or straight sizing. I've always been like mid size, but now I'm on like that teeter of like mid size plus size. It just depends on the brand. Of course, we know women's clothing are not the same across the United, like across the United States, across America, like across any continent, over, across the world. It's wild. That's a whole nother subject. But I've noticed a lot lately The brands I don't fit into anymore that I can't shop from. But I've also noticed the brands that split things in half where they're like, here's plus size, here's straight size. And they like, for some reason, keep them on separate tabs. So I just want to, I want to start by saying like, I appreciate that you don't do that, that you actually just like, here, here's, here's what it is. Pick your size.
Hayley Segar:Correct. And, and that, that is how I look at it. You know, um, like to me, it's just us making. As many sizes as possible for women like that's what we do. Do you know what i'm saying? And and yeah, I I touched on it lightly, but I I have been up and down in weight my entire life. I have run the gamut So to to me if I were to create a brand that didn't have a vast array of sizing it would be Hypocritical and the antithesis to my journey so far legitimately, you know, so so there's that element You And I, and I totally relate and resonate with that. And, you know, it was part and parcel to me to launch onewith being size inclusive. Like that was so important to me.
Julia Salvia:Yeah.
Hayley Segar:The idea of someone coming to our brand and us not having their size, like broke my heart and it goes both ways. Size inclusivity goes both ways. When we started outsizing, if you will, like people started. All of our sizes were too big for them. There was a time where our extra small was too big for people. It broke my heart. Like those emails broke my heart. When we physically did not have sizing for people, I was like, okay, we got to make a double extra small, you know, like that. Size inclusivity goes both ways and we started at an extra small to 3XL. We cut the extra small because we had to fix it. So we were, I think, small to 3X and then we launched extra small again to 4X and now we're double extra small to 4X. So it's been, you know, a journey for us refining, tweaking, but to me being a boutique owner, I'm sorry, and, and having someone walk in and Us just and and not like be out of stock of someone's size like not carry their size is Like it makes me physically nauseous. I can't stomach that for whatever reason And it's just it's just important to me. It's just important, you know, like I think I think it's kind of the bare minimum. Sorry
Julia Salvia:No, oh my gosh Sorry at all. I i'm in complete agreement with you I I can't even fathom like it makes me really upset too because it's like I get it from, I guess, a boutique side because I had, um, I know, I know what like the back end looks like, and I know that's really where things need to be fixed because, you know, they're purchasing from the sellers to then sell at their boutique and, and they're buying things wholesale and like the numbers that they come in, like, it's usually like two smalls, two mediums, two large, and they don't sell anything else. But to me, I'm like. Then why sell at all? Then why
Hayley Segar:buy that at all? Correct. And Good American is a great example of this. They won't sell to a store wholesale unless the brand or the boutique or you know department store Whatever is willing to bring in the entire size range So you can't you can't piecemeal you have to bring the entire size range in and like you said like we know the back end Logistics of what that's like. And like you said, there's some brands that will sell in packs. Like you get two smalls, you get two mediums, you get two larges, whatever. But again, you know, if, if I'm starting a brand again, I see as like the bare minimum to, to be size inclusive and to make sure that we're obviously catering to as many sizes as possible at a time. And now there is a trade off to that. So for example, like one of the biggest. Comments that we get, like of, of, uh, critique or ask, I guess, is why don't you have more colors? Why don't you have more colors? A, Abyss, which is our black, sells hand and fist over anything else, so it's hard to justify, A. B, from a sustainability perspective, too, I don't love the idea of, like, rolling out a bunch of colors. C, if we are rolling out a new color, we have to roll it out across nine to ten sizes. Yeah. Right. So. That's, that's a huge expense for us., it's expensive to be size inclusive. So again, I would very much though, rather represent lots of different sizes than have a, you know, the world's biggest selection of color on my website. That's the trade off
Speaker 2:and I think people don't think like that a lot of businesses you can literally see it Especially the I immediately go to like the makeup industry.
Speaker 3:Mm hmm.
Speaker 2:They don't think that way They don't think initially like I want to be like color inclusive. Yes I I don't want to be inclusive like it's just it's just not the priority The priority is like I want to have more stuff. Yes And then be inclusive. Yes. It's an afterthought. Yes, exactly. And it's, I'm, I'm starting to notice like as just a buyer, a consumer, but also as a small business owner, I'm like, if there's any direction I'm going to go in as a business owner or as a consumer, you got to be size inclusive, like that has to be your priority from the get go.
Hayley Segar:Yes. No, I myself am even starting to kind of take note of what brands Are size inclusive versus aren't and you know what like it would make me feel bad Someone comes up to me on the street and they're like, oh, I like that top or whatever Where'd you get it? And I know that they don't have plus size or something Like I don't like I don't like the way that that feels , so I think being really mindful like You know much in the same way that like a few years ago decided I was gonna stop basically all together buying leather new like I won't buy any leather goods new so like shoes bags Anything leather I will not buy it new It's kind of a new constitution there too. Like, I don't necessarily want to buy from a brand if they don't have plus or petite, whatever that might be. So I don't know, just more boundaries to have Julia. That's more, let's just add more to the list. Throw them in. And I'm not saying like, I'm the most perfect moral shopper of all time, but there's just certain things that, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not saying that at all, but there's just certain things that you as a shopper, as a consumer start to prioritize, you know? Yeah.
Julia Salvia:I felt that exact same way when, um, and I even felt that way actually when my, and it's, it's mainly because my sister, my sister is a completely different style than I do. It's a lot more boho. It's very like floral, super cute., and she had asked me, she was like, I have a wedding to go to. Do you know where I can find dresses? And I blanked.
Speaker 2:I was like, I have no idea because she's maybe either like same size as me or maybe a size above And I know a few brands that are I wouldn't say they're the greatest size inclusive, especially because they're an Australian brand. Yeah. Um, but I shop a lot from Meki and I fit MES Key's XL or Double xl, but they go to three xl. Okay, great. So I'm like that size inclusive enough Yeah. For me to still feel good about shopping with you, although I do wish that you went to maybe a four xl
Hayley Segar:Mm-Hmm., Julia Salvia: um. So, but I also knew that their clothing is not something my sister would, would wear. So I'm over here like, I have no idea who sells like size inclusive clothing for women for a wedding. And I, I struggled like naming something for her and I actually, I felt like shit. I, I was just going to say like, and I'm, I'm sitting here listening to you say this and I'm like, how are we dealing with this in 2024? Like, how is this like, that should be the easiest. Thing you do all week is tell your sister where to buy dresses.
Julia Salvia:Exactly. You know what I mean? I'm, like it's not it's like it's not that serious But it gets really serious when I can't even name three of them for her for her to go look at
Hayley Segar:Yeah, no, that is such now i'm going to be on a mission julia to like find
Julia Salvia:I actually asked her if she bought if she bought anything yet I I think I ended up doing a little bit of research and just keeping like an eye out. Off the top of my head, again, they're more in like my style category, and I would consider my style like it is a little bit more, um, risky, if you would say, like. See, I was gonna say like
Hayley Segar:glam.
Julia Salvia:Thank you. Yeah. You're like, you're like
Hayley Segar:risky.
Julia Salvia:But I say that because I, like, I take risks in the clothing that I wear, um, and I like tighter clothing. So, I like to show off my ass. I just like the frilly dresses. I just, it's not the first thing I gravitate towards ever. Like I'm kind of like in, in my brain, it's either my boobs are showing or my butt's showing. You gotta have one. Yeah.
Hayley Segar:Pick one. No, I love it. I love it. No, I'm also a fan of tight clothing. I, I love it. I just find it is generally more becoming. And I know people I could, I could, there's so much I could say about like clothing and fit and people. tend to shy away, and I would see this a lot when I worked in bridal, they would shy away from fitted because they're like, Oh, it's going to show everything. And I'm like, not first of all, not necessarily a B also be who cares. Right. And then C sometimes you wearing something a line or baggier to conceal adds volume. Right. So when you think you're being, you know, more, I don't, I don't know what the word is. Like your mate, you're choosing something more flattering. In reality, it's doing something optically that I don't think they intended to. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and so I actually think I, in general, think tight clothing is generally more flattering. I'll say
Julia Salvia:it. No, I completely, I completely, utterly agree with you because I can't tell you how many times the videos that go viral on actually jumping back to what you said about virality for one width of a second. The virality for just my social media platform as, as a creator, I actually get more hate on Instagram than I do on Tik TOK. Oh yeah. Like,
Hayley Segar:see, you're not the first person to say this. This like blows my mind for some reason. I, and I don't know why, but you, you are not the first person I've heard say this. I find that really interesting. I think
Julia Salvia:it's because I allow. Instagram to share my post to Facebook. And it's the Facebook comments that are really, because they just all come in as like one whole, like it's just your comments, right? It's not like you don't really know exactly where they're coming from, but I'm making a good assumption that they're coming from Facebook. And that's only because a lot of these people that are commenting are much older and Facebook has kind of become that platform. That's for the boomer. Yes. And the older generations. Yes. And my. Clothing is not very becoming according to those generations. Um, so it's the hate, it's wild because the hate really just comes from either very young girls or very mature. I wouldn't even call them mature, but very like much older women. And it's sad. It's sad. Because I'm like, my comments are like, just this bolt load of like, women hating on another wom like, woman. And Sam I don't, I don't like that. It's horrible. I'm like, they're like, you shouldn't wear this, you should wear A line. And I'm like, why? So I can look like a bag?
Hayley Segar:I can't. Like, the term A line in my head, like, I just used it before and I'm like, ah, I can't. I, I actually, going back to Comments, self love, like body image stuff. One thing I I've said internally a lot with onewith is, the general body discussion in comments needs to stop. It really does. The J and I'm not talking about other people's bodies either. I'm talking about when I open up my comments on Instagram and I see people talking about their own bodies, it needs to stop because it perpetuates. the general, um Discussion that can go negative very quickly But I get people like I think what bothers me For with for other women is i'll again i'll get a comment. I'm just giving an example and i'm making something up kind of I'm, not this is like this is probably an actual comment. We've received but it's like I could never wear that Yes, I have x feature. Okay. I have x feature on my body. I could never wear that Okay, well, what about the woman that's opening up the comments that also has x feature on her body and she loves wearing that Right, like that's her that's her jam. That's her shit, right? And now you're tearing down other women disguised as um as as talking about yourself. Do you see what i'm saying? And again, i'm not perfect. I am not the most, you know, whatever Couth speaker of all time, right? However, this is something i've noticed You Moderating an account if you will that is very body centric and something that I believe is negative to to women in general is the The the general body talk has to stop body neutrality is something I believe in So much so wholeheartedly and I don't know it's just it's something that's been on my mind a lot and i've brought up in Internal onewith meetings just like how what do we do? Do we partner with the body neutrality organization? Like how do we get people? Talking about their bodies differently in a way that doesn't cut themselves down and cut other women down too Yeah, and those are the comments that are
Julia Salvia:there. They're like I I would never wear that because Of x y and z because I don't like this about myself because it would show this about myself Or I wish there's people that say like I wish my body looked like yours
Hayley Segar:See, like, that breaks my heart. And it's like, I don't know. There, just, there's something about it. And again, I don't have the perfect words for it right now. I'm so very, you know, like, I'm very early in the, in the process of understanding what needs to happen here. But, and again, I'm not perfect. The way I talk about myself isn't perfect. The way I talk about others certainly isn't perfect. But this is something I have noticed an absolute abundance of. And I, I just think it's really damaging. And, um.
Julia Salvia:I don't disagree at all. I don't have a word for it either or how to kind of stop it from happening. I think in a lot of my videos, I, or just in general, like I'd like to build communities of, of, you know, build a whole community of women that just are very like minded and wanting to love themselves more. So having that conversation about our bodies and knowing that one, we're coming, we're all coming from, In a science scientific way, like we all have different genes. We all have different body compositions We're all be we're all raised completely differently from the next. Yes So all of those factors come into play But I think that we all in this moment right now deserve to love our bodies for wherever they're at Whether we are in a healthy place with our body whether that's mentally or physically Or not we deserve to love our bodies today And we deserve to have clothing that fits our body in the way that we like it to fit our body today. Exactly. Because whatever that is isn't going to
Hayley Segar:change overnight. Correct. Correct. And, and this is, again, another moment that I want to just like bottle up you saying that. This is something that Be having been up and down in weight my entire life in the last couple years dramatically So, I have really learned to see my body as a vessel and something that i'm so grateful for That I can get up out of bed every day and take two steps, right? like yeah, and and and the the privilege to dress that in whatever form that might be at that time is like incredible to me and that's where i've shifted my focus so much to and Yeah, just like seeing your body is something that is so Amazing regardless of if you are, you know, like top to bottom so happy the act of loving it is Is an art and it's something that I think you speak so beautifully about and I hope to like One day have the words that you do because for having a brand that is so body centric sometimes I I feel like I fall flat in the way that I actually express my thoughts, but You Hearing you talk is so helpful. It's generally so helpful to me and I know it's helping a lot of other people too. So thank you for that.
Julia Salvia:Thank you. I appreciate that so much. I, I think, if you want me to know, if you want to know what I think about onewith, I think that your mission of providing just, you know, Swimwear that one is inclusive to, and, and two, most importantly, like fits like no show underwear because what's the most, like, what's the big thing? What's the, you know, what are we all excited about when it comes to no show underwear? One that it actually stays in place, which your swimwear stays in place. It does not. It does not roll, which I got to say that pisses me off so much because then it's not, it's not seamless.
Hayley Segar:Yeah, correct. Anymore. I think you, you were the one that actually was like, Oh, does it roll like seamless undies do? And, and that's actually not a feature about seamless underwear that I personally experienced slash dislike. There were other things about seamless underwear I obviously did not want to incorporate in my line. Yeah. But I was like, and then I heard, I started to hear everyone talking about the rolling and I'm like, Oh my God, I hope ours doesn't do that. And it won't, it won't do it on most people. I can't say everyone's anatomy is different. I always like to say that. But on most onewith wearers, it will not roll.
Julia Salvia:As someone who does not have like a perfect hourglass figure, it does not roll on me. Amazing. Which is kind of like, I feel like we got the little muffin top. Right. And then we go back into like the ass and the, the seamless underwear would literally, like, I couldn't get it to ever stay like on my actual hip. It would just like roll down into that one little crease And then it would make whatever I was wearing look bad because what's the
Hayley Segar:point? What's the point?
Julia Salvia:It's not seamless anymore the
Hayley Segar:minute it rolls. You know what you need to try julia I'm gonna i'm gonna do a plug for a brand that I would love to work with. Um that you need to try stringy's Have you heard of them? No, I haven't They are right. I'm writing them down write it down. It's at like stringy like with a y with an s at the end Um, they are like It was invented by a stylist, I think, and they are no show underwear fabric in the front. And then the sides are basically like, you know, um, the annoying little straps that come on like, um, like a strapless dress, like the clear, stretchy. Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's that lingerie strap material on the sides. So it's like invisible sides that just like hug your body and then actual coverage in the front. I'm describing this terribly, but you will love them. You will love them.
Julia Salvia:I'm going to look into that
Hayley Segar:for sure. I did not describe this well. Please do not hire me to pitch their company, but they are incredible.
Julia Salvia:I think that's, I think that's the really like the big thing about, about the, about onewith two is that it, because it's seamless, it, Just fits to your body in the way that your body already is, versus other swimwear that is just, like you always talk about, like it just digs, and it gives you additional roles that you didn't already have, so it makes you feel not so good about yourself, because genuinely it doesn't fit, and if something doesn't fit your body, something I truly have noticed, I don't know, I don't know the term for it, but when you put on clothing that does not fit your body, you, it is so much more difficult to love yourself. Like, it's damaging.
Hayley Segar:Yeah. It's damaging.
Julia Salvia:Aside from whatever the size actually is.
Hayley Segar:Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia:It, it is really, it is really damaging. Yes. Trying to, cause you're, you just feel squished. I put on an outfit the other day that I bought last year that definitely did not fit me anymore. And I'm sitting in it and I'm like, this does not fit. I do not feel good. I do not feel cute the way that I felt cute when this did fit my body. And for a moment I was a little upset because it doesn't fit anymore. Obviously that means that like, I've gotten a little bit bigger. And, for that, in that moment, I was like really upset and I'm like, but it's. It's, it really is not, like the way that I feel right now has to do with the fact that the clothes don't fit my body, it doesn't have to do with the fact that I, I got bigger.
Hayley Segar:Yes. And, and it is temporary. And, and that, that thought will change when you remove that item of clothing from your body. Do you know what I mean? And it did. Yes. And, and. Trust me, I have moments like that too. Like, I tried, and I know you talked about this in a podcast, and it's funny because I'm the same way, like, you're an emotional dresser, I remember you saying. I am as well. And it's like, if I put on something in the morning, where I'm like, Oh my god, this is squeezing me, and then I know that I'm signing myself up all day for being like, You're being squeezed like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, nope. I got it's got to come off It's got to come off and we just have to start thinking like that And I'm not saying that onewith when you put your onewith on that it's gonna fit perfectly You might have to exchange it. You might need a different style, whatever But the ethos of our brand obviously is to not dig is to not squeeze is to be onewith your body That's where the name come came from.
Julia Salvia:Yep
Hayley Segar:I probably should have led in with that if we're talking about like self love and stuff like that, that the name of my brand comes from wanting something that feels onewith my body. I love things that feel like it's working with me, not against me. And, uh, yeah, just everything you're saying, cosign.
Julia Salvia:I, I, and honestly, I'm sitting here, I got invited to go on, my boyfriend's family friend on their boat, Sonday. And I have not tried on any of my swimwear since last year. And like, after trying on that outfit, like, two days ago, that didn't fit me, and realizing that maybe, like, I got a little bit bigger than, than last year, I'm like, like, what am I gonna wear that I'm gonna feel, like, happy and, and confident in? On the boat on sunday. Well, if you need me to overnight someonewith to you just follow me You're so sweet. I actually it's funny because I literally the first thought was like, yeah, there's probably no other bikini I'm gonna try to wear on sunday except for what I like my onewith bikinis.
Hayley Segar:That makes me feel really good but I I don't I don't want you to be stressed ever trying on your swim and that's why i'm saying just Just shoot me a text if you need me to overnight you something. I will i'll go try i'll go try them on like After we chat. I know if you text me again, I will hop to it and make it I appreciate I love it so much. No, this has been like such a good I feel like there's so many Topics that we could have covered today, but I this is just the beginning It's just the beginning i'd love to come on again and talk about like wellness routines You talked about magnesium and i'm staring at my magnesium bottle right now You Um, like I ever. The best. I feel like we could talk about Best thing ever. Like that in another episode though. Like doing our routines and supplements and things that tips and tricks.
Julia Salvia:Oh yeah. If there's anything that has like changed my life, especially with like someone who's got real heavy anxiety cause I'm just an over thinker Um,
Hayley Segar:magnesium. So good. I do the topical one from Symbiotica to go to sleep. Like I spray it
Julia Salvia:Ooh!
Hayley Segar:Yeah. So I might, I have a top one. I might,
Julia Salvia:I might try that.
Hayley Segar:Yes. Um, no, it's so good.
Julia Salvia:I think to close out, I have a really great question for like other small business owners. Um, what advice would you give to other small business owners in starting their own business or continuing with the success of their business? Um, in regards to self love or in regards to my favorite thing that always is an umbrella of self love, imposter syndrome.
Hayley Segar:Yeah. Oh, the one thing I always say is, and, and, and this sounds so simple, but you have to have to make sure that whatever it is you're embarking on continuing expanding, please, please, please, please make sure that you love it. Like I'm talking. To your core, in your, the marrow of your bones, love this thing. Like, I said, I said yesterday on a call, and this is so dramatic, I would take a bullet for onewith. I feel like in many ways I have taken bullets for onewith. I love this so much I could cry. That is what keeps me going. If you don't have that, if you're sitting there being like, Ooh, do I have that? You don't have it. And I hope to god everyone in your life Has something that they feel that way about whether it's a person whether it's a child whether it's a business But you have to make sure that you love it because there have been times for onewith that were so hard Mentally physically it could have like been Broken me if I didn't love it as much as I did. And then it like some, some things did, you know, like did really impact me in a negative way, but the thing that keeps you going is the love of it. And I think, I think many entrepreneurs will, you know, be shaking their heads and understand exactly what I'm saying right now. Like, I don't think that this is that unique. I think it's a pretty common trait of a lot of entrepreneurs, but I think it's something that needs to be really looked at and felt in your votes that this is like your thing. Yep. Hopefully that, that, that, it's very dramatic, but. No, it's, it's exactly
Julia Salvia:like, I, I completely, utterly agree. So much. Like even as you were saying it, I'm like getting like slightly internally emotional about my own, like about the Southland Archives. I'm like, I really do love this and I would do anything
Hayley Segar:for it. Anything. Like anything for it. You know, and, and, and that is just it. And again, I see people who are kind of half in, half out, and listen, there are times where I'm like. I, I'm gonna be 50 percent in onewith today, you know, like I need to be, I need to be doing Haley stuff. Like, I'm not saying it's like, constant, you know, like, complete and utter, you know, whatever. But, it has to be, like, basically your heartbeat. Not to be dramatic. It, like, the thing that you are embarking on has to be your heartbeat, in a lot of ways.
Julia Salvia:It's like, it's kind of the same thing with loving yourself, and having a relationship with someone else. It's like, Um, I gave this example the other day when someone asked me, like, how do I love myself today? And I'm like, the way that you have to look at it, the way that you have to look at your relationship with everything, your relationship with other people, your relationship with things, your relationship with yourself, the relationship with your business, You need to understand that there are, you, you love them. You're choosing to love them, love that, or love this. And you're making that choice every single day to do that. But you're going to have days where it's going to be tougher to make that choice and easier to make that choice. Just like if you have a significant other and you're like, you're really annoying me today and like, I love you, but like, you're annoying me. Or if, you know, when you are. talking more directly about yourself, like you're going to have days where you wake up and you're just like, I really like, I'm struggling to look at myself in the mirror and love this body that I'm in. And then there are other days that you're waking up and you're like, yes, I love what I'm looking at in the mirror. And with your business, it's the exact same thing. Today might be a really tough day because of X, Y, and Z. And there might be a lot of easier days where you're literally like have tears of joy
Hayley Segar:because you're like, I love this so much. Yes. Yes. Yes. And, and it's that riding of the wave, you know, like you have to be willing to ride that wave and know that the bad days will pass, you know, um, that is so critical. Um, but you have to, you have to love what, like I said, love what you're embarking on enough to be willing to ride that inherent roller coaster of even just like you said, like your ability to like look in the mirror and Choose to love yourself that day. You know, it's just such, it's such, it's such a ride, you know, and yeah, again, I, I do, I do love onewith that much and onewith has become an extension of me and it's made me love myself more, you know, it's a journey through onewith and I'm so grateful to onewith for that. If that makes sense, pun intended ride the wave right? I know. Sometimes I say things and I'm like, Oh, that is so I'll be like, Oh my gosh. Yes. This, you know, whatever for one win. Yeah. It was so I'm like, that was so smooth. It was so seamless. And I'm like,
Julia Salvia:I love it. Well, thank you Haley, so much for being here. I appreciate you to the moon and back. This was such a lovely conversation and I cannot wait. To have you back and, and for all of the things that are to come for one width and to, to, to smooth sailing.
Hayley Segar:I love it. And likewise, Julia, I love what you do always. I, I love, like, even if I was not your friend, I love consuming your content and I'm so grateful for what you're putting out there. Um, I drove into the city last night and I Listen to as many episodes as I could because it just and I learned so much from you. Like, I just want to say that I, I listened to a lot of, you know, self development podcasts and because I'm so in the weeds of it, there's very few things I haven't heard people say before. And you, you actually put me on to things that I had not thought about before. And I'm so grateful to you for that. And again, just for what you do. Create and put out there in general. So thank you. I got little tears in my eyes. Thanks. Oh I'm serious, and I need to buy a 0. 3 millimeter pen. Oh
Julia Salvia:Let me Let me tell you about these. Wait, can I just see it?
Hayley Segar:Can I just see it? I just want to see how Oh, she is thin. Oh my god. I don't even
Julia Salvia:think this is a 0. 3. I think this might be Hold on. No, it's a 0. 5. But if you kind of if you get a point, honestly Anything, anything under like 0. 5, 0. 3, like, it is, it's
Hayley Segar:life changing. I, I firmly believe you when you say that. And that's why I need to add it to my Amazon cart. So thank you. Influence.
Julia Salvia:As someone who was feeling all the imposter syndrome syndromes today, really, I appreciate that so much to the moon and back. Like,
Hayley Segar:I please keep doing what you're doing. The branding you've, you've always said I've also, I can't talk. The coffee's hitting. I've always said this. But like your voice is, is generally so pleasant to listen to and the way you express yourself is beautiful and concise and, um, meaningful. And I just, I really, and thoughtful, like in the truest of senses. I could go on and on, but please keep doing this. Um, you have a listener in me and you obviously have a friend in me and thank you so much for having me and, and being you.
Julia Salvia:Thank you. I appreciate you. Maybe, maybe it's my, maybe it's my Jupiter and, uh, Scorpio in the third house of communication. I don't know,
Hayley Segar:not to be specific or anything, not to be
Julia Salvia:specific, but maybe. Thank you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you guys so much for listening to today's podcast episode. I appreciate you tuning back. Haley, please tell everybody where they can find onewith and where they can find. You and just all the things that you want to share.
Hayley Segar:Absolutely. You can buy onewith at onewithswim. com and you can follow us on Instagram, Tik TOK, but Instagram is like our main thing at onewith swim. So that's my plug. I love
Julia Salvia:it. Thank you so much. I love you. I appreciate you. And I will see you guys not next week, but the week after 12 o'clock Eastern time, Sunday. Love you. Bye.
